Someday they'll write magazine articles about me:
Dr. Awkward's original goal in life was to become a writer, an occupation he pursued with a great deal of vigor througout his early career. After it proved too difficult, he decided instead to become a failed writer, an occupation much better-suited to Dr. Awkward's personality and level of talent. Soon, he would be turning his attention to other areas, quickly achieving the titles of failed musician, failed teacher, failed web designer, failed programmer, and failed computer technician. Recently, Dr. Awkward returned to school to finish failing his education and taking his place among the great failed scholars of history. Though determined to return to the life of a failed writer sometime in the future, Dr. Awkward's current ambitions include failing to earn his degree and failing to qualify for grad school, where he hopes to continue his lifelong career of unhampered failure.