"Finding out wherever there is comfort there is pain..."
Four Seasons in One Day -- Crowded House.

He reaches for you, and your heart gives a leap. You have never been so happy. The desire you can see on his face makes you feel completely beautiful, for the first time in your life, and you are floating somewhere six inches above the ground. For the moment, you can forget that you are overweight, that you have never been pretty, and you can believe that you are grace and elegance and wonder personified -- it's there, reflected clearly, obviously, in his eyes, and you glow.

And because you believe it, really, totally believe it, it becomes true. Everyone can see it. People tell you how great you look, how well. They ask you, "what have you done to yourself?" and you just laugh.


A careless word, a thoughtless act. He's tired, or stressed, and he doesn't respond to your touch. He doesn't push you away, but nonetheless, you feel pushed, rejected, unwanted. The mirror shows you you again, warts and all, the goddess fled. Because you were so damn high, you fall a long, long way, hard, fast, heavily, and it hurts.

You are plunged into darkness, blinking blindly because the light that was so bright before suddenly went out.

This is a tightrope. On one side complete joy, on the other, utter desolation. One step either way is all there is between flying and plunging. This is the consequence of getting close to someone. This is love.