Ah, to have the day off and to go see a [Tim Burton's Corpse Bride|movie]. There’s nothing quite like it, especially if you take a lady friend along to keep you company.

The movies are less enjoyable these days… sigh. It’s those stupid [commercials] that they put in before the show… And now they play them before the lights go down too. This is the death of the romantic date. I find it hard to carry on a conversation with that idiot noise coming from in front of us. Is this how people with [televisions] live?

“Honey, could you…”

“Could I… What?”

“Uh… wait a minute…”

[Fuck that noise]. I could be staring into the crystal blue eyes of a beautiful woman or I can watch [intellectual slut |Antigone … What-ever-the-band-is-called] whore themselves out to make a buck.

So, the lights go down and there is this… [Coca-cola] commercial. A girl about my age is sitting on a bench and she opens a [bottle] (or [can]) of Coke. Little [bubbles] fill the screen and some sort of [bastard] [hip-hop] swells in the [theater] and she starts dancing. She dances through a [myriad] of scenes where everyone is happy and dancing along to the music.

The girl I’m with taps me on the shoulder.

“That’s not a commercial for [Coke], they’re advertising [mushrooms]!”

Uncontrollable laughter from my end. Good [Lord], she’s right.

2. Everybody’s happy. Last time I did mushrooms, I smiled and giggled a lot.

So I am to infer that Coca-cola would like me to believe that their product produces the same effects as mushrooms. Ha! If only. Mushrooms are hard to get.

Alas. it is a dirty lie these Coke-fiends propagate.

September 28, 2005 (idea)