I'm deathly afraid of staple removers. I can't stand to go near them. They look evil. Heck, they are evil! I mean they're small little buggers, but they have these huge jaws. It's like they're waiting to bite your finger off. And they eat staples! Do you have any idea how much it hurts to staple yourself?! And they eat staples!! I've never used a staple remover in my life. I'm too scared. It might have something to do with these recurring nightmares I have about staple removers.....

I walk into my office. It's a normal day, but something isn't right. Then I notice them. All lined up along the window. Staring at me. Not moving. I come to my senses, and start working normally.

The day passes. People move in and out of my office. It feels normal when people are around. Then I drop a pencil on the floor. When I reach down to pick up my pencil I see it. A staple remover next to my foot. I react out of instinct. I quickly grab the pencil and continue my work.

After about fifteen minutes, I get up to relieve myself. Then I see it and gasp in shock. There's a stable remover biting my shoe. I begin to panic. I quickly get down to my knees and try to wrestle the cursed thing off me. But to no avail. Then I feel a prick in my neck. I begin rolling around on the floor screaming bloody murder. The staple removers have come to life and are attacking me!!

But no one comes. I glance up at the window, and see staple remover after staple remover jump down and latch itself on to my body. I'm fighting a losing battle. Staple removers are all over me. They start biting my legs, slowly working their way up to my nether regions. Oh god, not the nads! CRUNCH! I lose my consciousness and my manhood at the same time....

Then my dream ends. I wake up in a cold sweat. It happens weekly. That's why I never go near staple removers at my office. I'm afraid they'll eat me. I'm not crazy. I'm serious.

Staple removers from hell are stalking me!

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