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Fri Feb 7 2003 at 09:21:42 (16.8 years ago )
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Mon Oct 3 2005 at 03:24:02 (14.1 years ago )
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I am god (idea)
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-----BEGIN NODE CODE BLOCK----- Version: 0.1.2 NN l- xp+ n- C H+ c+ e # d- D- p g N+ ------END NODE CODE BLOCK------ Here's a thought.

I


recently have come to work at a company that I seem to have been working at all of my life, maybe even longer than that. This company, has an interesting story and it goes like this. It starts out with a small explanation of the nature of this worldwide multinational multicultural monopolistic conglomerate:

Biblically speaking, God told man to be the "master" of all the beasts and plantlife; and man named each creature..

A


nd without humans on earth, there is no perception of the beauty (and ugliness) of this planet. There was nobody to ponder the meaning of existence. Things just were. Animals went about their business, plants grew, but there was no manager. God didn't feel much like being the zookeeper and gardener for the entire planet, so he created humans. They allowed him to go about other business, much like a top level manager controlling very loosely a group of self-appointing employess. He doesn't much care how the business is run most of the time, but every once in a while he'll step in and maybe check his e-mail.

M


stly on the whole, he is pretty happy with his staff. They seem to be a pretty self-controlling mass. The overly corrupt managers who steal entirely too many funds and favors from the secretaries just get resign either due to illness from disease, or maybe because of pressure from the overall staff. Sure some of the managers dont realize their own importance and resign themselves to cubicles, thinking that this would be a pretty normal existence. Meanwhile some of them who are more fit to think "outside the box" -- which is exactly the way of thought originally prescribed by god -- do become higher level excecutives, but most do end up with a few kinks on the way, such as interesting predilections towards forearm hair, feet, or whatnot. The really evil ones, once again, usually just burn out on the job, or are demoted.

God is a good manager, and doesn't really mind if one of the more powerful employees even use violence, for he's sure that the other high level execs will put said employee back in his/her place.

G

ladly, dress code is nonexistent, the managers usually decide that for themselves. The business plan is pretty simple, yet has a few complicated points, usually concerning the questions of time, why everybody can't have their clocks set right, gravity, and a few other points most people just ignore. This business plan is god's strategy to succeeding in his business; there have, sometimes been attempts at a competing business, but those just burnt out because the managers only knew how to work in god's company.

O

f course, the best part of working for this business is that the pay is pretty much made up by the employees individually, and is never in cash, at least not directly. Usually it's in ideas or even stranger, actual services provided by the co-workers. One of the business secrets I have come to understand -- everyone in the company is a co-worker and their status in the company is as arbitrary as the beholder of said person. Thus, I have become the topmost high level manager in the Earth company (Copyright & Trademark GOD, Beginning of Time) and now control much of its assets at will.

D

espite you having read this, please be advised that your position in the Earth Company is completely determined by me, unless otherwise noted. .....Get The Memo???