Giving parts of oneself to another eventually becomes a sacrifice. Any soul has encountered a love which won’t reciprocate for obvious reasons unbeknownst to ourselves. We always want to think that once we love ourselves, like everybody says we should, that those we love will love us back. Love to be loved and all that and much more. I waited for much more for longer than. I know I wasn’t alone.

Alone is another story included with this one.

Never knowing where the thing called love would erupt like a volcano was an injustice. I figured that love would be obvious and without the sticky fingers that caused typos. Go figure. Instead, I waited like a rock in a stream of constantly rising trout. I never saw myself as the trout, or the constantly flowing stream or even the rocks the stream bounded. Instead, I was just some guy watching from shore wanting to be any of those things. Wanting is just another word for something else.

I was real strong for a while there. I had the whole wide world figured out. I figured out that life was meant to live, so I did. I just lived. I spent years living that way. I was real happy. In the meantime, I thought of a lot of different ways to live. I never spent any time living those ways. Hindsight is for yesterday.

Figuring that every little bit of myself was worth just as much as a whole bunch made the difference. I suppose that more is less, and less is just a smidgen was good enough. It wasn’t good enough though. Nothing is.

I gave faith and hope a chance on occasion, just like anybody would. Didn’t pan out, on account that I wasn’t panning.

Ever been where I am, you might figure out where this is going, if you don’t know, I’ll tell you this is going nowherefast. It’s a good place there.

Music. A song that lasts.

Life, live it or don’t.

Good ol’ life.

I figured that giving up was an easy way out. Instead, giving in was easier, but giving at ease and instead was the best giving at all. I barely give this way, but finding people to give to becomes giving to oneself. It isn’t easy at first, but with time, and love, giving becomes a secondary emotion in hand with sharing. You need two hands though. A little bit of self and love manifests a cornucopia of vast dimension, beyond the comprehension of the physical hemisphere. If we let go and allow this essential philosophy to overcome, then we can become.

Just a little bit.

I will love you a little bit at a time
so that each time you feel even a little bit loved by me
you will know it like a gift you didn't expect
and you'll try to hide that you are a little bit embarrassed.


I like to think that I am a smart person
which makes it is easy for me to invent things
such as reasons to dislike myself
and for others to spite me.

So I will try to make you happy with love
to content myself in knowing
that someone else has benefitted from straining efforts
that only hurt myself.


Sometimes I'll slip
and I'll love you too heavy
because love will catch you off guard
in a way that is swift and elegant.

When I slip
you will not be embarrassed by a tiny gift
instead we will share the weight
and the strain will scare both of us.

That will make us afraid
but not as afraid as when I forget to show that I love you
even a little bit
and we'll both wonder what could have happened.


Every time you feel loved
we'll wonder if it's permanent or just for the day
or the week or year
because nobody knows.


And most of all we will wonder
how many bits of love there will be
before they begin to trickle
and seem gone.

Then we will not see them for a while
nor know where they will appear again
so I will have to love you a little bit at a time
so that there will always be some to make us happy.

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