As of last week researchers in Israel and Utah discovered something quite astounding. According to Professor Alron Medinat of the Tel Aviv Kabala Research Organization, "The deCSS that has been all over the American news (sic) has been located in the pages of the Old Testament."

Salt Lake City university researcher Paul Jameston confirmed this on Tuesday (26 March 2001) in a national press conference. "It appears the deCSS is strategically hidden throughout the Old Testament, from Genesis to Psalms, its all there." He goes on to state that this code could be found when the Old Testament was translated back to the original Hebrew text.

"The whole thing was there to begin with," said Sally Mark-Jeffry, spokes person of the MPAA. "I don't think we were looking hard enough. Our next step, of course, is to take this matter to the court systems, to stop this blatant violation of United States copyright laws." When asked what would happen if the MPAA won their move to sue on the grounds of copyright violation, she was quoted in saying: "I guess (all the bibles) will have to be destroyed."

Hackers rejoice across the globe. One, who wished to remain unknown, was qouted in saying, "We're all just happy that we finally have proof that deCSS is the way God wanted us to view our digital media."

The Lord in Heaven God was unavailable for comment.

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