Several years ago, I was a target of a very persistent Jehovah's Witness. This was certainly not the first time that I had been visited by, I had been visited by members of the church every so often but not on a frequent basis by any means. I generally didn't have a problem with them as the ones that I had met were all quite personable and intelligent enough to know when their time was up with me.

All that changed with the visit of the one that I shall dub "Rose" for this wu. Rose was not of the usual JW stock that I had met before. No, she came like some kind of home invasion...I mean, she literally barged her big frame through my door and waved a copy of "The Watchtower" at me like some sort of weapon. I tried talking quietly with her but she would not have it...everything that came out of her mouth was a bellow and was usually quite insulting. Being of Chinese descent, I don't usually appreciate people calling my ancestors "barbarians who didn't know the true way" - one of many denigrating terms that she used to try to promote her faith as the one and only.

To get her out of the house, I made the biggest mistake...I paid her a couple of dollars for a copy of "The Watchtower". Well, that ended up being viewed as a ticket for her to come every Saturday for more thunderous rhetoric and more insults to my culture and heritage. Plus, she brought her 5 year old son who looked terrified to even be there with his mother.

Finally, I decided that enough was enough. I posted a sign at my door which stated the following:

We've decided now that there is only one God for us and his name is Elvis Presley. WE WORSHIP ELVIS!

To top that off, we put a mechanized dancing Elvis statue that we picked up at a flea market by the door, dancing away to "Jailhouse Rock".

Unfortunately, that didn't stop Rose from coming the next Saturday. She barged in again and started yelling out that we were all going to be damned for posting such an insult to her faith, that we were idol-worshippers of the worst kind, and that the whole Chinese population was going to hell for this.

And that's when I sicced my Jack Russell Terrier on her.

I must say that I was mighty impressed with how she ran down the street, considering her size. To this day, I've never been approached by a Jehovah's Witness again...I must be on some kind of blacklist or something. Such is life...

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