Adding to the strain of pizza delivery nodes this evening...

Day 1

It's B's birthday. We are perhaps 14 years old and camping in a big tent on his lawn. This is what B's birthday has been since elementary school (I met him in grade 1) we would camp out in a big tent in his yard and watch movies. The first one I remember was Garbage Pail Kids. We decide to order pizza around 11PM, an hour before they stop delivering. Apparently a busy time for the pizza man

For whatever reason, the pizza is absurdly late. B gets it in his head to wear paperbags on our heads with eye holes cut out for the pizza man. We prepare our bag masks and play with some lamps and outdoor lights to set an eerie mood in the front lawn.

The pizza man arrives and your typical pizza guy banter takes place.

You guys order some pizzas?
Comes to $26.11
Thanks, keep the change
Thank you, have a good night

This all takes place on the walk way with the pizza guy surrounded by a bunch of 14 year olds with bags on their heads.

Day 2

We decided this was a lot of fun, so the night after we do something similar at C's house. This time we aren't camped out, we're inside, we order from a different pizza place and we all have bags on our heads.

Day 3

1 year later. Our friend D moved away shortly after the second pizza guy incident, but moved back a year later. His friend E has come back to visit. E is a largish fellow with a pony tail and is into vampires. I'm not sure he's all together unlike the comic store guy on the Simpsons.

We "Pizza Guy" two pizza guys this evening, from two different places. We are more elaborate this time. E has his face caked with flour and is wrapped up in a robe. The path to the door is lined with lit tiki torches and we all have bags on our heads. I have my bagpipes and am pretending to play, but since it's around 10-11PM the reeds are taken out.

The pizza guy arrives and is met by D who leads him to the door throwing flower petals like a flower girl.

Whoa, cool. You guys order some pizzas?
THE PIZZA *clap clap*
One of E's "palace guards" hands the money to the pizza man and takes the pizzas.

One down. One to go.

An RCMP car arrives. What are you boys up to?
Scaring the pizza man!
Oh ok, we just broke up a party, we thought it might have moved here. Have fun guys.

That was close.

The next pizza guy doesn't even flinch. He is BORING. We tip him well anyhow for putting up with our bullshit.

Day 4

Another year or so later. We have a new friend with us, F, this is the time where our group of friends is becoming Co-ed. D is moving away, this time for good, and we want to pizza man one last time before he leaves. Our hearts aren't in it though and it goes by un-eventfully.


It's been about 3 or four years since I've pizza-manned and a lot has changed. We've made a lot of new friends, but none of them have pizza manned with us. F is now living in Vancouver, as am I, and we are attending the same school, she could've been my roommate but bailed out and now regrets it because my pad is sweet and hers sucks ass :) B and G are also here attending two different schools. C is still at home and spends a lot of his time outside one of the pizza shops. This time it's not to harass the pizza man, instead it's because a friend of ours owns it.

I've eaten a lot of pizzas since moving away, but it'll be a long time before I answer the door wearing a paperbag on my head again.

some of these are on tape...

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