I remember the jack move like it was yesterday. Byron and I drank a lot that night. The night sky only reflected the downtown lights, the stars dimmed completely. As we walked by the Zoo Garten, Byron suggested we break into the zoo. What started as a simple teenage break and entering turned into a life changing excursion.
We creeped over to a wall hidden back in the Tiergarten. The camels tried to warn the keepers, but we were equipped with a mass of herbivore treats. Byron dropped some wheat in their cages, they nodded in approval as we scaled the wall. Byron grabbed me and pulled me to the ground immediately after we reached the other side. "A fuckin camera dude!" As I looked around all I saw was a bird of some kind. I chucked a rock at the bird, and it flew off. "See, no camera...." The flung rock scared the bird off but hit a gorilla. Needless to say, she went apeshit. Not strapped with bananas, we raced down a dark pathway until the gorilla's screams weren't audible.
We ended up near the koala cage. I brought a lot of eucalyptus for this specific animal. After a couple of leaves the koala pointed toward the cage lock. I took the information sign and smashed the lock open. After she climbed onto my back, I name her Luge. Byron grabbed him a monkey while I obtained the koala. He named the monkey Affe. It kind of upset me, Byron held out with some bananas. But since we avoided any trouble with the gorilla, my feelings were temporary. Also, Affe looked happy.
By this time we heard voices in the background accompanied by slight visuals of flashlights bending around the walkways. The time came to blow the popsicle stand. Our only hope fell to the rhinocerouses. When we found a solo cage, I used the information post trick again. The rhino knew what was going down. He snorted as he stopped next to Byron and me. We jumped on it's back. Byron yelled, "Los!" and the rhino, Byron, Affe, Luge, and I were off. We tore through Tiergarten toward the S-Bahnhof. A small tear rolled down Byron's cheek as we departed with Sparky (Byron's nickname for the rhino).
As the S-Bahn put distance between us and the Polizei, Sparky gently left with the zoo keepers back to the zoo. Sparky belonged in the zoo, very popular with the staff and other animals, Sparky knew it.
Monday rolled around, Byron and I arrived at school strapped with our respective new friends. A silent, smooth strut answered everyone's questions. You don't ask pimps how they got where they are, you just accept and respect it. Smoking cigarettes and feeding Affe and Luge at lunchtime, Byron and I enjoyed school with our new friends. Sadly enough, after a week of school with Luge and Affe, animals just started popping up all over the place. Rich kids showed off sloths, flying squirrels, and other cool mammals. Animals at school were banned after someone went too far and brought in a komodo dragon. The dragon was pretty cool, but the starting quarterback taunted it. The dragon naturally replied with a savage bite in the quarterback's leg. The salmonella bacteria from the dragon made him really sick. This prompted the vice principal to ban animals in school. After this, Luge and Affe felt it was time to move on. We gave them 100 dollars and they walked off into the sunset. Occasionally, I receive letters from people Luge hangs out with. Her and Affe are still on the move, but that's another story.