Ahh-right, kiddies, settle down, settle down... I SAID SETTLE DOWN! Ahh-right, good. Nah. Sits right there, fo Vichizzle McNizzle gonna give y'all a Halloween treat, a vurry scurrry story. Dat right. It be called The Scurriest Ho Evah.

What's it about?

Well, holds on and I tells ya. Ahh right. Nah, this pimp, hizz name Stank-ass-stein, he goes fuckin' crazy, right? Motherfucka gets diss idea in his head dat if he could just take the best qualities of all his hos, why, he'd have one hot, sexiest, baddest-ass ho evah! He figger he make a lotta Benjamins off this bitch, knowhaddi'msayin? Charge top dollah to tap dat piece of prime ass. Yeah.

So he goes about pickin' from his hos, one wit da best titties, da best puss-say, sexiest legs, purrtiest face, an whatnot, and he makes hizzself a list. Then he calls them into his crib one by one, and hacks them the fuck up, y'all! Dat right, dude fuckin crazzzay by that time, werd!

This sounds familiar...

Shut up! Anyway, Stank-ass-stein, he gathers up da best pieces from his massah-cuh an he goes down to his labuhtory in his basement and he puts 'em all togethah...

This sounds like a movie I once saw...

Hey Jaleel, you tellin dis story??

Well, no --

Who tellin dis story, WHO TELLIN IT?!

Uh, you, Vichizz, you--


OK, nah, where wuzz I?? Aw yeah. Anyways, Stank-ass, now he needs a way to gets his sexiest ho livin' cuz none o' his clientele be into the necro... necker... uh, fuckin' the dead. So he tries bitch slappin her - it alway seem to wake up his bitches befo. But nuttin happen. So then he tries his cattle prod, what he uses when his bitches really piss him off. It causes the ho to twitch but nuttin else. Then he remembers that he had purchased a set o' dem home heart-startin paddles, yknow, like dem ones dat those doctuhs be usin in them shows, only the kinds you can buy, he be havin them around in case one o' his older clients has a heart attack while fuckin his hos. He gets dose paddles an he charges the fucker up then shocks the motherfuckin' bitch up! Now dat get his super bitch up and goin', werd!

But see, he not accountin' fo the fact that the bitch be really pissed off at him, yknow, fo hackin her shit up, the soul of each ho in dat body an all. So soon as she look at him, it's on, like Donkey Kong! Straight up. She gots super strength nah so she grabs Stank-ass and rips his fuckin head off!

Where did she get super strength?

Dat... dat don't mattuh, Terrel, from Hell or sumthin, don't fuckin mattuh. Listen! Ahh right? So she is becomin one scurrrry fuckin ho! She--

This story sucks!

Hey Cleevon, you know what? You wuzz an accident! Dat right. I know yo momma, she like a doorknob, evurybody get a turn! Yo daddy the dishwasher repair man! Evah wonduh why yo hair red?!?

Oh, naw, oh, stop cryin... I juss kiddin.


Anyways, where wuzz I? Oh yes. Diss ho created by Stank-ass, she da hottiest fuckin ho in da world but she all crazy an shit. She gone take her revenge on the en-tire male population! She grows these sharp fangs, these big ol' sharp clawzz, and she uh, she.. oh yeah! She even grows sharp teeth in her pussy! You can only imagine what she gone do with dat! Mmm-mm!

Teeth in her junk?! Whatever! Dat's stupid!

You kidzz bettah stop interruptin me, I smack you up! Now siddown and shut the fuck up and listen! Ahh right?

Anyways, dis scurry ho, she starts findin shit in his pimp lair--

I thought it was a labbertory--

LABBUHTORY, WHATEVAH! She finds some gunzz that he had lyin around, and she puts 'em in her titties with duh barrels stickin outta her nipples so she can bust some serious caps in some serious asses. Now she lookin' really fuckin scurry...

I saw this in a movie, too!


OK then, she gets some fuckin sawblades he had, she attaches them to her hands...wait, how would that work... ...to the sides of her hands, so dat she got some seriously scurry sharp blades, yeah, they be all like weeeeeeeennnnnnnn, yeah, weeeeeeeennnnnnnn, and fuckin--

That's stupid!!

How did she attach friggin saw blades?!?

LISTEN UP! You kidzz, bettah shut the fuck up, I serious, I be up and slappin yo shit, believe it, I fuckin serious! Now quit interruptin thuh Vichizz!

Now, this scurry ho, she go out on a night out in duh town, and she start wreakin all sorta havoc on the induhvigils of duh male persuasion, fuckin they shit up. Fo real. She be all hackin and smackin, and shootin from her titties, blowin and cuttin they fuckin heads off. It a grand scale mass-ahcuh like they city nevah seen! Blood and body parts be lyin round evahwhere--!

This story isn't scary!

Yeah, it sucks!

You kids don't think it's scary?! Huh?! Well.... OH MY GOD, LOOK, SHE'S BEHIND YOU!!!

Ahhh ha ha ha ha! Not scary huh?! Then why you all be shittin in yo pants, lookin back there huh?? Ha ha! Not scared, you childrens fulla shit, Vichizz's story be scary! Fo real! Ha ha!!

What? What y'all be lookin at me like that fo? Huh? What? What is it? What? Sumthin behind me? Izz dat it? OH, I get it. You be tryin to scare me! Oh dat funny, haha, yeah, right! Well guess what? You all--




The End

Fo It duh Season fo Graves Crackin: Duh 2006 Quest fo they Fee-yah

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