My attempt to create a counterpart to The Cartoon Laws of Physics. So far I've got:

1. The male and female of a non-human species that does not walk upright on two legs can be distinguished because the female possesses long eyelashes and the male doesn't. (Example: Santa's Little Helper and She's The Fastest in the Simpsons episode Two Dozen and One Greyhounds)

2. The male and female of a non-human species that does walk upright on two legs can be distinguished by the female's eyelashes and/or breasts, or the female always choosing to wear a dress. (Eyelashes: Minnie Mouse vs. Mickey Mouse; breasts and eyelashes: Bugs Bunny when dressing up as a female vs. his usual self; dress: Dot Warner vs. Yakko and Wakko, her brothers)

3.Coyotes and cats are impervious to being squashed and most other types of wounds.

4. Most animals are not able to recognize their own species when looking for a mate (Pepe Le Pew and Penelope the Cat; Bugs Bunny's dressing up as a human female and a Tasmanian Devil female and fooling males of those species) More ideas are welcome.

  • All animals can talk from birth. Some choose not to, or choose to wait until the right moment for comic effect.
  • Any animal that hatches from an egg will choose the first animate thing it sees to be its mother, regardless of its apparent gender or sex.
  • Any small tree growing on the side of a cliff has a root structure sufficiently strong to support the weight of at least three large animals hanging onto each other's feet.
  • Cryogenic suspension can be safely achieved in a snowbank or during a blizzard. Normal function may be restored by placing the frozen person or animal in front of a fireplace for a few seconds. The only side effect will be a brief blue discoloration.

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