I have had the worst weekend of my entire life. Yesterday my boyfriend was supposed to come over and we were going to hang out and do the things that teens do when they are in love (have a makeout session, and neck), but my mother decides that he shouldn't come over because he refused to go to church with us last weekend.

That really made me upset. You can not force religion on someone no matter how hard you try. So then my cousin, the one with cerebral palsy, comes in my room while in sitting on my bed crying a river, and sits on my sisters bed and starts crying too. I ask, "Why are you crying?"

"Because you are always so happy. You shouldn't be sad," she replies as I embrace her.

We finally stop crying and I take out a phone book looking for a cab service around my area. Fortunately, I didn't find one because I wouldn't have had anywhere to go anyway. So I call my boyfriend with tears still in my eyes and his voice makes me cry even more, so I retire to the bathroom and talk with him there. I sit in the bathroom for about an hour. I knew that if I called him he would make me laugh, and he did. I asked him if he still wanted to marry me and he said, "Yeah, when your mother moves on though. You know this is the second time she's done this to us?"

"Yes I know," I say back to him.

We talk for a little and then I ordered myself a large pizza from Papa John's and I ate almost the whole thing.

This morning my bad excuse of a mother woke me up at 6 o'clock in the morning telling me that the kids from down stairs were coming up again. There mother went to Tennesee for some trip. So right now they're here bugging me. What a great weekend !

I'm not afraid anymore. -Kevin, Home Alone

I used to be afraid I'd be afraid. I used to be afraid that even the thought of commmitment would roll me over like a bulldozer on a pancake. But not anymore

Why?

Kari and I have been going out for about 5 months. It's more like 3, because of both of us believe it's right to take it very slow. I'm glad we both made that decision.

This Halloween weekend I went to a cabin 20 miles outside of town and spent some time with Kari and some other friends (my siblings too). I never had a shadow of a doubt that every minute I spent with her was like tasting fine wine. I became drunk with love.

Saturday night we spent half the night talking, laughing and just savoring each others company. I now have no doubt whatsoever that this is love. This is a love that doesn't need tons of cuddling and kissing. This is a love that doesn't need any kind of sexual affirmation. This is a purely spiritual, emotional and mental link between me and the most incredible woman I have ever met.

Does marriage look far over the horizon? No. Not right now. But not because I have a fear of commitment; it's because I'm only 18. I'm only learning what love is. Saturday was a taste of love. I know love is more and I am willing to keep learning.


On a seperate note, this node marks my 70th WU, which means I'm now a level 3. I know daylog is a cheap way to do this, but I promise I'll make up for it in the future.

The big Brownie trip to Sea Rim Park. This was the little one's first Brownie trip, in actuality. We had a fantastic time. The park itself is a giant marsh, and all that goes with it. Texas Parks and Wildlife has built a large wooden walkway out over the wetland, allowing a small tour of sorts.

We saw a total of three alligators...that was exciting for all involved. At one point, an eight foot alligator was close enough to touch. The children all loved getting to see them, and the mothers were all visibly worried. Any time the alligator swam a little closer, all the mothers would try to get the children to sit a little farther back. The ranger with us wasn't too worried however, so long as the kids didn't put any limbs over the water.

After the little tour, the kids played a game with the ranger, while I helped a few of the mothers unload the van. The fact that I was there to help with carrying of heavy items was made clear when I first volunteered to go. Somewhat ironic, considering my stature. Nevertheless, I performed as expected, and hauled coolers and firewood down onto the beach.

When the kids arrived, we started them on digging the hole for a fire pit in the beach. The wind was humming, so there was a bit of effort involved in lighting it. None of us had ever built a fire on the beach, and I think I was the only one who had ever built a campfire of any kind. We sorted it out, and after about a dozen matches, fire was created.

Of course, what's a girl scout outing without roasted hot dogs and s'mores? Personally, I've always found a little grit in my hot dog is what makes it. The kids were sweet, and offered me plenty of s'mores and hot-dogs. Some had never roasted anything over a fire, so it was neat to watch them, their fledging attempts where they went from ice cold weenies that were held too far away from the flame, to those that were practically placed ontop of the logs. The s'mores were a big hit, but of course. Since when is chocolate not a hit with 7 year olds?

And so all good things must come to an end. Leaving was actually the worst part of the day, since dusk was upon us, as were the mosquitos. There seemed like millions, swarming and striking, fiercely seeking our blood. Many flitted into the cars, increasing our misery. By the time the hour long drive was over, corpses were splattered on arms, seats, and windows, a grizzly display of the fierce war we fought. All in all, however, a fantastic trip for the kids, and the adults.

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