I'm addressing every one of you Everythingians out there that may tie the knot sometime in the future.
Just elope. It's easier than setting up a wedding. Why do I say this? I'm getting married in a bit under two months from now. The lady I am marrying is the love of my life and means very much to me.
But the wedding isn't about us. It's about us and our families. That's how weddings are. Once you realize this, and allow others some say, you will lose all control over it. When I went to propose, I stopped by my grandparents, as they were being wonderful and lending me a car so I didn't have to do the car rental thing. They suggested eloping was easier. I thought they were kidding. It turns out that after my mother got married, my uncle saw the problems they had and just eloped. My grandparents were enraged at first, then realized that there was far less bother when all was said and done.
Since I proposed, the following things have happened (this isn't everything):
- Our families are no longer talking to each other except through the two of us. Admittedly, this is unrelated to the wedding directly, but it's made things worse.
- Her family traditions are completely different from ours, and without the families talking, this leads to some problems. An example: apparently, in her family the happy newlyweds open the gifts at the reception. The reaction I recieved upon conveying this to my family was nothing short of horror.
- As I am originally writing this in May, the wedding is in the late June/early July timeframe. This time of year is quite warm where the wedding will be. Neither the chapel nor the reception hall is air conditioned.
- Her mother has insisted upon silk flowers, against my bride's wishes and the apparent fact that I am the one responsible for a good deal of the flowers based on standard US marriage etiquette.
- I'm not entirely certain how the entertainment at the reception will occur. Apparently eating and opening the presents is a big part of it. No DJ, which is apparently a big thing in the Northeast (which is not where her family hails from).
- Of course, I wonder how much our extended families care; apparently quite a few of them consider it too much trouble to ensure they have the needed vacation time off from work. I thought our extended families would be crowding our friends out. I think I was wrong.
Last night, as the two of us rode in the car together, she said: "This is seeming less and less like our wedding and more like my mother's wedding." I just sighed ever-so-slightly. I know the wedding is for the family in many people's eyes, but isn't it really supposed to be our special day?
Update on July 25, 2000: The wedding has passed. I am now happily married. But it's time for the real lessons first.
clampe was decidedly right in some ways. It was wonderful to have most of our friends and family there (it was the largest gathering of my friends I ever expect to see). It was really cool.
clampe, of course, also did not know that at the late stage of the game, if we had told my wife's mother to kiss our married ass she would have taken all the toys with her. Take that as a warning, intrepid Everythingians -- once someone else is paying, you are loath to fight with them.
The wedding was wonderful; admittedly, I had wonderful rose-colored glasses on because I was so wound up that the world ceased to exist.
The reception wasn't super-duper by my standards -- I wanted a DJ. But, all things considered, it went well -- the food was about a thousand times better than I expected, for instance, even if most of the others didn't appreciate the Brie and grape leaves.
Oh well. Off my soapbox for now.
One other, later update: I just want to make sure all of you realize that my in-laws really are nice people. I guess it was all a form of acute wedding-induced insanity, though not quite the same as what's detailed there.