Rock on Gold Dust Woman
Take your silver spoon
And dig your grave
Well its a heartless challenge

A person's life is made up of many different slices. The past is littered with remembrances and lost opportunities. We always see things better in the rear view mirror. There are times in our lives when we feel we can do anything and be anyone. We see the picture so clearly. We love without fault and we draw pictures in the sand. The waves wash many of those pictures aside, but we wonder if perhaps we could have drawn them differently.

She was supposed to be blessed. Her brother was a football star. She was the president of her graduating class. They gave her a scholarship for it. The experiment didn't last. Life got in the way. She ran home with her tail between her legs. Once upon a time the man who loved her did the same thing. They were cut from a different breed. They had the gifts but couldn't find the right forum in which to apply them. It all fell apart. Puddles in the rain were washed away and the sea was too wide for either of them to cross. He fought to believe he was worthy of his dreams. She fought to convince him she wasn't fighting for. Swords clashed and the mists swallowed them, emerging only from time to time in order to remember what once was and could now never be.

Well did she make you cry
Make you break down
Shatter your illusions of love
Well is it over now
Do you know how to pick up the pieces and go home

Years between and years gone by. He wondered if he could ever heal the wounds that were not their own. He began to realize he had always been worthy. She continued to convince him she was not. Bent on self-destruction and consigning herself to shadows, she pushed him away. She sunk into the depths of doubt and preferred the way of getting by no matter how degrading the way might be. She could never hold herself up to his light without going blind. It reminded her too much of who she used to be.

She had to control everything in her orbit, and although he thought he was weak, she knew he was too strong. She prostituted herself for lesser men when he could have held her hand. The expense was too great. She could not lose control. She had to push ahead, no matter how deep the mud became or how much the air stank of destruction and death. It was easier to close her eyes. He opened them too wide. She hated that about him but it could not keep her from loving him.

Time passes and some quests change, just as some quests must be surrendered in order to survive. Jousting with windmills tends to end violently and not in your favor. You have a belief in love and in what really matters, but as someone sinks deeper into an abyss of their own choosing, you have to realize that no matter how much rope you have, they won't always grab hold of it. Sometimes you must retreat and prepare for the days ahead. Life has to be lived. There is no other option.

You can kill the things you love. Sometimes you can kill them more easily than you can embrace them. Often love is too much to bear and sorrow and pain are preferable substitutes. You watch as she leaves and you vow to her that someday it will be different. Someday you will have what she needs and someday she will understand what it all means. It is easier for her to watch you suffer and struggle and try once more to prove to her that she was your answer and that you were hers. Then the wires are cut and time and space cease to become your allies. They stand with her and your only option is to get back on your horse and ride into the night. There are other sunsets. There are other shores. None may smell so sweet, but they might stay longer and your wounds might heal. Time is your ally again. Nothing else matters.

Ooh pale shadow of a woman,
Ooh black widow, ooh yeah
Ooh pale shadow, shes a dragon

Lyrics sample from lyrics copyright Stevie Nicks
Originally recorded for Fleetwood Mac "Rumours", 1977
Lyrics for live version of "Gold Dust Woman"
Courtesy of
The rest courtesy of The Muse.

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