There are two basic types of Geek, and numerous offshoots of the basic types. I will cover the primary geek types, and leave it to my esteemed colleagues to cover the sub-types.

The Archtypical Geek (Geekus Maximus):
The Archtypical Geek is what you've seen a million times in science labs in movies, or rarely in real life. This species of Geek is becoming increasingly more rare due to a general growth in the acceptability of geekdom in general. The basic traits of an Archtypical Geek are an in-depth knowledge of [Unix/Linux, a pale or greenish complexion, inability to communicate with non-geeks. Archtypical Geeks are generally, but not always, found wearing thick glasses, white oxfords, sometimes with a pocket protector packed with arcane and mystical looking devices, along with a few pens with odd acronyms upon them that say things like COMDEX. Their pants are sometimes in good repair, and other times are stained with dust and spilled Jolt. They lair amoungst UltraVAXs, burned out motherboards, chips, unusable drives, screwdrivers, and other odd tools of unknown use. The walls of their lair are generally built of old Jolt or Mountain Dew cans. The Archtypical Geek is a generally peaceful creature, not generally likely to resort to violence, seeing it as beneath all higher thinking creatures. They are built more for cowardice and their strongest defense in the fetal position. However, like any animal, it may sometimes lash out when cornered or pushed too far.

The Cyberpunk (Geekus Asskickus): Originally The Cyberpunk was a little known creature, and quite frequently was confused with the Punk (Headbangus Rebellus) which can be seen to be of a totally different species. However, in a bizarre twist of convergant evolution, The Cyberpunk, and the Punk share many common traits. Like the Punk, The Cyberpunk wears alot of black bovine hide. Always a black jacket at least, but often going so far as to wear pants of the same type of hide. Their style of dress is often considered outlandish. Hairstyles can be anything, although there will generally be some color not found in nature located somewhere in their hair. As with the Punk, the Cyberpunk enjoys breaking things, and perfers a chaotic environment. This is where the two species diverge in habits. The thing which the Cyberpunk breaks, he is also driven to try and figure out how it worked, and will sometimes even put it back together. Whilst the Punk nests amoungst empty beer bottles and old pornographic magazines, the Cyberpunk nests amoungst Jolt bottles, empty Caffeine pill packaging, and Linux manuals. Their dens are built out of old posters of the Ramones, Guns n' Roses, and Metallica. Cyberpunks are generally more prone to violence than the Archtypical Geek. They lash out at those around them, and they are equally adept at attack as they are defense. Their primary method of attack is pryamidal steel studs sewn onto fingerless leather gloves. Their defense is to sneer at their opponent and to belittle him with comments about the attackers lack of knowledge in Linux.

Many researchers have theorized that the Cyberpunk is actually an evoluntionary step from the Archtypical Geek. These theories suggest that when the Archtypical Geek is subjected to enough emotional or physical abuse from other people around them, they actually undergo a metamorphasis, enter a short chrysalis stage, and re-emerge in their recreated state as Cyberpunks. There has been no definate proof however, and the mainstream scientific community scoffs at these errant researchers.

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