Another really nasty reason to use that condom.

I am a firm believer in safe sex. Safe sex as in

As long as your new partner doesn't wave a recent 'all-clear' report from his/her GP in front of your face there will be no nookie. No. None. Not even some quick oral sex.

"Why's that then, Heisey?" I hear the more innocent yell?

I tell you why: Curtis-Fitz-Hugh Perihepatitis. That's a pretty big reason.

For those of you who aren't aware of this juicy little morsel of genito-urinary medicine, it's an infection of the outer capsule of your liver and sometimes even your diaphragm, caused by those two common little lovebugs Chlamydia Trachomatis and Neisseria Gonorrhoeae. Neisseria is of course the causative agent of what is endearingly termed "the clap", while every 13 year old schoolgirl in the western world by now knows that Chlamydia is not a flower. The main symptoms are right upper quadrant pain and a good going fever.

Initially Curtis-Fitz-Hugh syndrome was only thought to be caused by the dreaded gonococcae, but today we know that Chlamydia infections are five times more likely to be the cause. But how do they get to the liver?

Easy. One quick and unprotected intercourse later, the Gonococcae or Chlamydiae might be (if you're a girl) wandering up your tubes and hopping into your peritoneal cavity and then, after causing you weeks or years of pelvic inflammatory disease colonize the R upper quadrant of your abdomen. If you're male it's less likely you'll be inflicted by the dreaded perihepatitis, but spread by lymphatic system or via your blood hasn't been excluded, so don't think you're safe.

Treatment depends on the severity of your symptoms, but is mainly via intravenous or oral antibiotics. And pain relief. Did I mention it hurts like hell?

And all of that just because you didn't use a condom.

Source: Some very entertaining lectures.

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