The Church of Potatoism was founded in 1994 A.D. by Bernie The Magnificent, the first potato
ever to realise The Truth:
Human Beings are Trying to Eat Us All!
Preaching his message to all potatoes around, the Church of Potatoism grew to mighty proportions - soon, over two thirds of the potatoes in the world were Potatoists.
However, Bernie knew that the slaughter of his fellow potatoes would not be stopped until humans too could be reached and converted. To bring the message over to the human race, he appointed Mr. Potato Head.
But though Mr. Potato Head did his best to promote a bond of understanding and friendship between potato and human, his message was subverted time and again. His image soon was to be found on potato chip packets and on TV, extolling the virtues of potato-eating. In despair, he left the church to focus on his acting career.
But all is not lost. I, SpudTater, have now set up this node to preach the message of Potatoism affresh. Please, stop the slaughter and consumption of innocent potatoes. Join us in our fight against injustice! Join the church of Potatoism!!!
The commandmants of Potatoism
1) Thou shalt not kill any potato.
2) Thou shalt treat thy potatoes as thou treat thyself.
3) Thou shalt not eat any potato or foods involving potatoes.
4) Thou shalt not cook potatoes.
5) Thou shalt not spell "potato" with an "e", nor "potatoes" without.
6) All potatoes are equal under Spuddah; Idaho, Irish, Sweet potatoes, Yams and any other.
7) Spuddah is the one true God, and must be worshipped! Bow down before Him or boil in hell for eternity!
Additions, from The Book of Veggie, 1997 A.D.
3a) If you eat chips, you will fry in hell.
3b) If you eat french fries, you will fry in hell.
- 3b-a) Thou shalt not eat in a McDonald's.
- - 3b-a-a) Ronald McDonald is evil.
- 3b-b) Nor a Burger King.
- - 3b-b-a) Burger King adverts featuring Mr. Potato Head are heretical. Burger King is evil!
5a) Thou shalt not vote for Dan Quayl.
6a) Carrots are ok as well.
- 6a-a) And probably turnips.
- - 6a-a-a) But not cabbages. 8^P
Thank you for supporting our cause. Live long, and vegetate!