Chew with your mouth closed

There's this guy in the cafe where I get my morning coffee who is chewing with his mouth open. While the process of food being ground down into a bolus for eventual processing by the digestive system is probably interesting from a biological standpoint, I don't think I need to see the process firsthand.

Thing is, if I walk up to this guy and say "Wow, you know it's really disgusting when your mouth sounds like a regiment of soldiers marching", he'd probably smile and show me some of those little poppy seeds stuck to his cream cheese teeth, and say "muh can chooo howemma muh mwunt"

And no, I'm not trying to take away his Constitutional right to be disgusting in public, but really, our teeth are inside our mouth for a reason (not manners necessarily). On the bright side, at least he's not eating sausage.

That's the same reason that Lloyd Dobler has in "Say Anything" for not wanting to volunteer at the old folks' home - the always chew with their mouths open, and make all kinds of weird noises while they chew. And Diane yells at him, saying that's ageism, and maybe they're mouths don't work as well as they used to. Then Lloyd does a 180 and goes down to the home. Talk about whipped.