I have finally come round (well, pretty quickly, all things considered) to thinking that the GWJDM is right. He is correct to break up with me.

Because I have some seriously heavy lifting work to do. About the PANS/PANDAS. I think that the antibodies are not rare. I think that they may be implicated in some or many cases of chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. My hypoxia is subtle. I am not hypoxic at rest. I am not hypoxic when I start walking. But on the beach, pick up a couple rocks and keep walking and my heart rate is 135 (normal 60-100) and O2 saturation is 87% (should be 98-100%). I think the antibodies can be triggered by trauma or infection or both. The confusing thing is that there are three antibodies and they take different patterns in different people. They can either block a receptor or they can activate it. So the patterns are frighteningly diverse, since there is that studied single rat neuron that has 300 different kinds of serotonin receptor on one little neuron. EEEEeeeeekkkk.

The guy wants to relax, not work, play music, travel, have a companion. Well, sounds lovely. However, it's not in his plan to have a companion who is doing the sort of heavy lifting that I am thinking about.

I am thinking about the gentlemen who discovered h. pylori and what they had to go through to get their information out. Sigh. I have never wanted to go get a PhD, really.

Suggestions are welcome.

Also, I have had my first Tarot Card chronic fatigue fibromyalgia healing session, where I discussed my ideas and looked for a pattern in what would have been a patient back when I was doing Family Practice. Since I am disabled from Family Practice, I have fallen back on my deck of 007 Tarot Cards, which I have used intermittently since I was age 13. It's always good to have a back up career.

FANTASY
Eating a warm buttered croissant
with a coffee
having breakfast
in a cafe
in an international transportation hub
with a hat on
and a skirt suit
watching the news intently
with a ticker tape charon
with someplace to go.

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