Colonel Diego glanced at his buzzing phone. On the screen, he saw what at first seemed nothing more than a jumble of letters. But on closer inspection, it was a discernable message:

But what could it mean? A code of some sort? An acronym? Or was it something simpler.... IB -- ah, possibly an illiterate construction, "I be." And LMN8NU -- something to do with a lemon? Or.... no, it was a word. Sounding it out, Diego muttered aloud, "el-em-en-eight-en-you.... elemenate-enyou? Eliminating you!!" So the message thus far read, "I be eliminating you--"

Colonel Diego suddenly found himself distracted from this interpretive endeavour by the blade protruding from his chest, which had clearly been thrust through his ribcage from behind, piercing his heart and going out the other side. As a cold darkness overcame him and he slumped to the ground, one final thought congealed in his mind: clearly the message meant, "I be eliminating you for money and lulz" -- but what on earth was a "lulz"?



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