I met my ex wife through an IRC channel of all places, to start with.  If I recall correctly, it was #pennsylvania on DALNet.  Anyway, we talked for a while, getting to know one another, getting interested in one another until finally at a campout set up by the channel, we met face to face for the first time.  We instantly connected, and from that point on, we spent weekends driving back and forth to each other's places.  A few months passed, and we were in love.  We were talking every day, still spending weekends together.  We made the decision to get married, and went about setting a date.  She moved in December of that year, and we tied the knot in June of the following year.  Wedded bliss, or so we thought.  At first, things were fine.  The main issue was living with my parents.  We didn't get a chance to get out yet, and there was some tension between her and my mother. 

We survived living with my parents and found a nice apartment to strike out into the world on our own.  At the time, things were a little tense, and the marital bliss seemed to be wearing a little thin.  Moving was one of the things we thought would save the marriage, but unfortunately, it turned out to be a bigger issue.  We found that while we could be together, we could not live together.  Couple that with trust issues and the fact that we had opened up the marriage, and it was plain to see that our time as husband and wife was fast drawing to a close.  To understand how I knew this was happening, you only had to look at a typical evening during the week.  I would get up and go to work and come home.  The two of us would sit down to dinner, speak maybe two sentences to each other, then go about doing our own thing, usually with her on the couch in the living room, and myself in the office on the computer.  You see, she had found someone through Xbox Live, and was usually online with him most of the evening.  More often than not, I often ended up going to bed alone.

The true beginning of the end occurred one evening.  Things were already a bit tense and we had a small fight, so I retired to the office.  I emerged from the office only to get a drink, however just as I was heading back, a loud bang echoed through the apartment followed by the odor of burning electronic equipment.  I rush back to the room to find that my computer had blown the power supply.  After confirming the death, I walked back out to the living room where a brief battle of words happened and then eventually we sat down and came to the realization that we were not going to make it, and that this was truly the end. 

A few tension-filled months later, she packed up and headed out to Minnesota to be with the man she found through Xbox Live.  Once moved, I began the proceedings to initiate the divorce, which became final in September, 2006.  I was depressed for a while, as I had promised myself I was only going to get married one time.  It took me a couple of months to become social again, but once I did, I was back to my old self once again.   I can now say I'm in a happier place.  I've finally found the one I was meant to be with, and have moved down to Georgia to be with her.  We have a beautiful daughter, and are set to be wed in July of 2008.  While my first marriage was an experience, I'll never forget what lessons it taught me, and I'm a better person for it.

If I had to go back and do this marriage all over again (which I would not want to anyway), the first thing I'd do is to actually live with the person prior to getting married, and I don't mean with roommates or parents.  I'm talking about out on our own, just the two of us living.  I feel strongly that had we done that, we would have figured out that we're better off not married to begin with, and I would not have had to deal with a divorce.  I would also not have consented to an open marriage, as that did nothing but accentuate the issues the two of us were having.  It's not a good idea at all, and if you are thinking about it, I suggest you take another look at the potential outcomes before you do so.

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