I just don't understand it.

There was a song on Mary Tyler Moore that promised "love is all around." And yet here I am, walking down the street and no one is around. I am looking to take a lover, bodily fluids pouring out of every one of my bodily cavities with glee (untold amounts of GLEE comes from doing this, just leaking and pouring your bodily fluids out on the road the way I do). Since you and I are friends ALWAYS committed to being together FOREVER the way that we are (and remember, I AM in Joan Crawford's work group in Hades - my true home).

Not sure if any thoughts were completed in the above paragraph.

And yet here I am, ready for love, with so many different bodily fluids pouring out of me, making me READY for the lovemaking that is to come, and no one is around. Everyone is in their homes staring at me out the window as if I am somehow "different." I am better than them. I am better than you. Because you are complete shit. I'm sorry I said that. Pretend it never happened. We are friends. Stuff comes out of my bum. Some of it comes out ALIVE. Like a tender hussy.

Sexy ways. I have sexy ways. Someone come out here and LAY ME NOW. I am in the street outside your house. LOOK OUT HERE. Come make love with me now and stop being afraid. What are these people afraid of?


This feels like either The War of the Worlds or the London Blitz, two fictional things that never happened. Both were falsehoods promoted about Germany when I lived there and was taught how to love by government officials in the 1930s and 1940s. They taught me how to love and how to make love with their wily ways. They had wily ways. Then they were all locked up and shot. Weird.

Come. Make love in the road outside your house with me. Middle of the road. Let your neighbors watch me deflower you. Come on. Come out and play. Send me your virgin daughter or grandmother. I'll take care of things from here. Weirdos in your houses all the time. Irritating! Come out and DO ME.

My new wife, Trixie Goats, told me she was going to Rochester to wait out "the thing."

No one tells me what "the thing" is. And there is no information anywhere. Freaking out.

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