For
many months Deirdre did not mention the matter of reading. And in the
meantime, Fia grew a bit taller, and she got a bit rougher with her
fellow children, for she did not fully understand her own strength.
Meg had to warn her to be careful.
Fia found this an odd thing to hear from a mother who had been a
warrior famed for her ferocity. But Meg had lived long enough to know
when it was better to hold back. Many of the most fiery young
warriors died quickly for rushing in too boldly, as a boar charging a
well-armed hunter. And sometimes, as Deirdre said, it paid more later
to be nice now.
This was a hard sell, for the first thing Meg did come the autumn
was march to the clan chief's village and steal half their cattle
back. And when the strong warriors of that village turned out to stop
her, they halted when they saw it was Meg, and she roared at them,
and they ran away.
"You stole all their cattle," signed Fia. "That's
not nice."
"Half their cattle," signed Meg. "I was being nice.
I didn't want them to starve. Maybe they will remember that."
Tally was around more often these days. Since Deirdre had ceased
her open inquiry into the study of letters, Tally was willing to be
in her presence again. He was even willing to help Deirdre and Meg
and old Mochán teach the rest of the village how to do sign
language. Mochán had thought that the knowledge of such a thing was
falling off among the younger generations, so he was pleased to see a
reversal of that trend – but not half as pleased as Deirdre, whose
heart seemed lighter than it had been.
Which is not to say as light as anyone else's. There were days
when Deirdre would be all gloom and shadow, when her smile seemed
forced. On those days, when Meg asked what was wrong, Deirdre would
only reply, "My songs are lost."
And it was true. Everyone in the village was missing Deirdre's
voice. They sang to fill the silence. But it was not the same.
On such days, Deirdre would only be content when she sat in her
roundhouse with Meg and Fia, and with them spun wool by the fire.
So one such evening, she asked Fia where on earth she had come
from, and what she had done in the years before Meg came to the Black
Pool, and how on earth she had survived.
As to the first question, Fia could not easily answer, for like
any child, she did not remember much of anything before she was three
years old, and she had been on her own, in a way, since that age, if
not before.
As to the second question, that one was easy to answer. She had
run through the forests. She had run through the fields. She had run
over the water. She had eventually slowed down at some point, and
realized that there was such a thing as hunger, and cold, and thirst.
So then she had crept through the forests, and, upon finding one
family or another, would beg them to take her in, and they would –
but then she would get bored within a few weeks and leave again, off
to the tops of the mountains to see dragons or to the seas of the
north to see giants or to the mounds to see --
"You've stayed with us for this long," signed Deirdre.
"I am flattered."
"You are my mother Deirdre," signed Fia. "I never
called anyone mother before you. Except Meg. Talking of which, are
you ever going to go on adventures again?"
"I have so much to do here," signed Deirdre.
"I can't abandon my people again," signed Meg.
"You can go with me," signed Tally. "I've got my
work to do, and it's nice to have someone who can keep up with me."
"Alright," signed Fia, "Tally is my favorite
parent."
At this, Deirdre had raised an eyebrow, and signed, "Sure,
and I'll be your favorite next month when I can teach you how to make
– " and she made a sign that Meg did not know. She glanced at
Tally, and winced.
Tally shook his head.
So Deirdre looked sullen. "Go with Tally then," she
signed. "He has more fun than I do."
"I wish I could understand what the trouble is," signed
Meg. "But I fear I am not allowed to know."
"I will tell you this," said Tally aloud. "If
Deirdre does what she wants with teaching people letters, it will put
us all in danger. We're already pushing it with the sign language,
but the gods enjoy a good loophole now and then. They might even
reward that kind of cleverness. They don't laugh when the rules are
cleanly broken though. There are things Deirdre knows that you are
not allowed to know. Already there are things you have seen that you
should not have seen. If Deirdre tells you all she would tell you…I
would have to grab Fia and run. Without you two. Because judgment
would be coming for you."
"There are already people in this world who know how to read
and make letters," signed Deirdre. "You think I would upset
very much if I taught my people how to read?"
"I can imagine a certain increase in political chaos,"
signed Tally.
"For goodness sake, it's not like I'm making – " and
Deirdre made another sign Meg did not know.
"What's that one?" said Meg.
"Nothing you need to know," said Tally.
Everyone else glared at him.
"Alright alright! It's called Plutonium. But I am not going
to tell you what it is or how it's made. It is way beyond your time."
"Time?" signed Meg.
"I have said too much," signed Tally, and he got up to
leave.
But Fia stood in his way at the door.
"For goodness sake child!" said Tally. "You would
disobey your father so openly?"
"You haven't given me an order yet," said Fia. "And
you didn't answer the question. Are we allowed to learn how to read
or not?"
Tally sighed. "If anyone asks, we will say Deirdre learned it
from people over the sea the same people who turned her skin cloud-white and her eyes golden. And I will not help you learn how to sound
out the letters. You figure out that one on your own. I can't be too
involved with this." He turned to Meg. "And if the gods
start investigating what you're doing, I swear to you, I will take
Fia and run far away."
Thunder rumbled above the roundhouse.
"I trust your word," signed Meg.
And then Fia let Tally depart. She sat back down by the fire, and
took up her spindle again.
"Fia," signed Meg. "Are you angry I left you for a
whole year?"
"You made a big deal about leaving me in good hands,"
said Fia.
"Talking of hands – "
"Sorry," signed Fia. "You made a big deal about
leaving me with good people. Half a deer and everything. I was the
one who abandoned the farm. Are you angry with me for doing that?"
"I was disappointed," signed Meg. "I was worried, I was frustrated -- But I understand
you a little better now. You can't stick around any place for long,
can you?"
"But I can keep coming back here to the parents I love."
"I will settle for that," signed Deirdre. "I know
you will keep coming back."
And Deirdre signed no more words that evening. But her face did
not look as troubled as it had before.