Barnaby in Exile is a short story by Mike Resnick about a bonobo named Barnaby who is part of a language learning program. You can listen to it on Escape Pod here. I would highly recommend it but be warned that it's sad. Before talking about the story let's talk about teaching apes sign language. Koko the gorilla, Nim Chimpsky, and most of the rest of the ape language projects were failures at the point of grammar. The various great apes that were taught sign language learned significant syntax but it's generally accepted that they never progressed to building sentences. The one exception to this is perhaps a bonobo named Kanzi who seems to be able to understand instructions and answer questions somewhat intelligently. Ape language acquisition is one of those fraught subjects because it's so subject to interpretation and confirmation bias. While the accepted orthodoxy is that it can't happen Barnaby in Exile explores the implications of success.
Barnaby lives in a cage. Barnaby is an eight year old bonobo. Barnaby doesn't know that he's a bonobo. He thinks he's a barnaby. During the day he tries to solve puzzles with Sally. If he solves them she calls him a "bright young fellow" and tickles him. He likes this. At night Bud comes to clean at night and Barnaby signs hello. Bud never signs back. Sally teaches Barnaby to communicate by pressing buttons. Sally asks Barnaby how he's doing each morning. Sometimes he presses the button for "Barnaby is fine" or "Barnaby is hungry" but he does not have a button for "Barnaby is lonely" which is what he wants to say. Barnaby asks to be let out of his cage but Sally reminds him that he hurt the labs white rabbit, Roger, last time he was out because he doesn't know his own strength. Barnaby apologizes and asks if he can get something else to touch. Sally asks what he'd like and he answers another barnaby. Sally frowns but doesn't respond. Barnaby wonders if he is the only barnaby in the world. Later he asks if he has a father and a mother. Sally tells him that he does but his father is dead and his mother is in a zoo. Barnaby asks to go see his mother but he's told that she wouldn't remember him and even if he introduced himself she wouldn't respond because she doesn't know sign language. A few days after this Barnaby asks about Sally's mother and if she lives in a cage. He wants to know why his mother lives in a cage and hers doesn't but he can't find the words which makes him angry. Once he's calmed down he asks why he is an ape and Sally is human. Sally answers that God made them that way. Barnaby thinks for a long time and decides that he needs to talk to God about his status. The next day he asks Sally if he can speak to God but she convinces him to ask his question to her instead. Barnaby asks why he is alone and Sally tells him it's because he's special. Barnaby asks what he did to make God so angry that God would make him special.
Time passes and Barnaby learns much more about the scope of the world. One day he over hears that they are running out of funds. Barnaby doesn't understand the conversation but he notices that Sally is sad. Time passes and Sally stays sad. Eventually, Sally tells Barnaby that he is going away and she won't come with. He is put into a much smaller cage and stays there for three days. He's released into an enclosure with lots of trees and bushes and he has several days to acclimate to living outdoors, eating new foods, and being alone. After he's gotten used to living under the sky they put him back in the small cage and take him to a tropical forest. They release him and drive away. He chases after them to no avail. Barnaby signs that he is free. He is scared. He is alone. He begins his new life in the forest. It is full of new smells and scary things. He signs to the monkeys and they don't respond. He learns to avoid leopards. He meets another bonobo. He signs at it. It growls at him. He asks questions. It runs at him and bites him. He asks what he did to provoke this. It runs at him again and he climbs a tree to escape. He spends the rest of the day at the top of the tree with the other bonobo glaring at him. At night Barnaby remains in the tree despite the rain. The next morning he is alone and decides to follow the trail of his attacker for lack of any better ideas. He finds twenty-three (he learned to count) bonobos. One spots him and they chase him. Time passes and he finds humans camping. He waits at a distance till they notice him. He signs that he wants to be friends but when he tries to approach they throw rocks at him and he flees. That night he sneaks back to listen to their conversation and pretend that he's back in the lab. The cycle of thrown rocks and listening at a distance persists till they leave. Barnaby is alone again. Much later, he meets a female bonobo with lots of bite scars on her. Having learned a lesson, Barnaby waits nearby and lets her approach. Once they are sitting side by side he signs a greeting to her. She does not respond. He names her Sally. Barnaby and Sally live at the edge of the forest away from the other bonobos. They have three children. Barnaby tries to teach each of them to sign. None of them learn and he notices that he is forgetting the words. Every so often humans come by and Barnaby sneaks over to their camps to listen to their conversations. He keeps trying to initiate conversation but nobody responds. Barnaby hopes that one day he'll come to one of the camps and God will be there. He had so many questions for God but he's forgotten most of them and now all he wants to say is "Please talk to Barnaby" and ask if they can do a lesson. The end.
The whole story is written in first person present tense as though it's being narrated as it's happening. I tried to copy the short, simple sentences Barnaby thinks and signs in. Escape Pod has over nine-hundred episodes and this is my favorite. I cried when I first heard it and I cried as I wrote this. I think I deal with loneliness a lot; as much when I'm around people as when I'm not. This story hits me harder than any other piece of fiction where it hurts. This story lands as hard as it does because Barnaby never gives up hope. He doesn't have the chance to. His situation is always present and he has to deal with each day as it comes with no clear concept of where he is or what can happen next. This isn't because he's stupid but because he's just smart enough to know what he's lost but not how fully he's lost it. His entire existence is liminal, he will never have closure, and he will never know why. Any hack writer can do a bummer ending but this is the only time I've seen hope wielded so cruelly.
IRON NODER XVI: MORE STUBBORN-HARD THAN HAMMER'D IRON