Note, this is current up to April 30, 2001.
Also, this thing needs more commentary than it originally had. Any text in italics is annotation, and not part of the actual criminal code. Since this is boring, I'm likely to be sarcastic.

Criminal Code
CHAPTER C-46

An Act respecting the Criminal Law

Short title

1. This Act may be cited as the Criminal Code.
R.S., c. C-34, s. 1.

INDEX

Part I - General
Part II - Offences Against Public Order
Part III Firearms and Other Weapons
Part IV Offences Against the Administration of Law and Justice
Part V Sexual Offences, Public Morals and Disorderly Conduct
Part VI Invasion of Privacy
Part VII Disorderly Houses, Gaming and Betting
Part VIII Offences Against the Person and Reputation
Part IX Offences Against Rights of Property
Part X Fraudulent Transactions Relating to Contracts and Trade
Part XI Wilful and Forbidden Acts in Respect of Certain Property
Part XII Offences Relating to Currency
Part XII.1 Instruments and Literature for Illicit Drug Use
Part XII.2 Proceeds of Crime
Part XIII Attempts--Conspiracies-- Accessories
Part XIV Jurisdiction
Part XV Special Procedure and Powers
Part XVI Compelling Appearance of Accused Before a Justice and Interim Release
Part XVII Language of Accused
Part XVIII Procedure on Preliminary Inquiry
Part XIX Indictable Offences--Trial Without Jury
Part XIX.1 Nunavut Court of Justice
Part XX Procedure in Jury Trials and General Provisions
Part XX.1 Mental Disorder
Part XXI Appeals--Indictable Offences
Part XXII Procuring Attendance
Part XXIII Sentencing
Part XXIV Dangerous Offenders and Long-Term Offenders
Part XXV Effect and Enforcement of Recognizances
Part XXVI Extraordinary Remedies
Part XXVII Summary Convictions
Part XXVII Schedule

INTERPRETATION
Definitions

2. In this Act, "Act" «loi» includes
(a) an Act of Parliament,
(b) an Act of the legislature of the former Province of Canada,
(c) an Act of the legislature of a province, and
(d) an Act or ordinance of the legislature of a province, territory or place in force at the time that province, territory or place became a province of Canada;

"Attorney General" «procureur général» The head criminal pprosecutor in a province.
(a) with respect to proceedings to which this Act applies, means the Attorney General or Solicitor General of the province in which those proceedings are taken and includes his lawful deputy, and
(b) with respect to
(i) the Yukon Territory, the Northwest Territories and Nunavut, or
(ii) proceedings commenced at the instance of the Government of Canada and conducted by or on behalf of that Government in respect of a contravention of, a conspiracy or attempt to contravene or counselling the contravention of any Act of Parliament other than this Act or any regulation made under any such Act,
means the Attorney General of Canada and includes his lawful deputy;

"bank-note" «billet de banque» Money money money money... MONNNAAAYYYY
"bank-note" includes any negotiable instrument
(a) issued by or on behalf of a person carrying on the business of banking in or out of Canada, and
(b) issued under the authority of Parliament or under the lawful authority of the government of a state other than Canada, intended to be used as money or as the equivalent of money, immediately on issue or at some time subsequent thereto, and includes bank bills and bank post bills;

"bodily harm" « lésions corporelles »
"bodily harm" means any hurt or injury to a person that interferes with the health or comfort of the person and that is more than merely transient or trifling in nature;

"Canadian Forces" «Forces canadiennes»
"Canadian Forces" means the armed forces of Her Majesty raised by Canada;

"cattle" «bétail» Cows and non cows!
"cattle" means neat cattle or an animal of the bovine species by whatever technical or familiar name it is known, and includes any horse, mule, ass, pig, sheep or goat;

"clerk of the court" «greffier du tribunal»
"clerk of the court" includes a person, by whatever name or title he may be designated, who from time to time performs the duties of a clerk of the court;

"common-law partner" « conjoint de fait » Living in sin
"common-law partner", in relation to an individual, means a person who is cohabiting with the individual in a conjugal relationship, having so cohabited for a period of at least one year;

"complainant" «plaignant»
"complainant" means the victim of an alleged offence;

"counsel" «avocat» It's a lawyer silly!
"counsel" means a barrister or solicitor, in respect of the matters or things that barristers and solicitors, respectively, are authorized by the law of a province to do or perform in relation to legal proceedings;

"count" «chef d'accusation»
"count" means a charge in an information or indictment;

"court of appeal" « cour d'appel »
"court of appeal" means
(a) in the Province of Prince Edward Island, the Appeal Division of the] Supreme Court], and
(b) in all other provinces, the Court of Appeal;

"court of criminal jurisdiction" «cour de juridiction criminelle»
"court of criminal jurisdiction" means
(a) a court of general or quarter sessions of the peace, when presided over by a ]superior court judge],
(a.1) in the Province of Quebec, the Court of Quebec, the municipal court of Montreal and the municipal court of Quebec,
(b) a provincial court judge or judge acting under Part XIX, and
(c) in the Province of Ontario, the Ontario Court of Justice;

"criminal organization" « gang »
"criminal organization" means any group, association or other body consisting of five or more persons, whether formally or informally organized,
(a) having as one of its primary activities the commission of an indictable offence under this or any other Act of Parliament for which the maximum punishment is imprisonment for five years or more, and
(b) any or all of the members of which engage in or have, within the preceding five years, engaged in the commission of a series of such offences;

"criminal organization offence" « acte de gangstérisme »
"criminal organization offence" means
(a) an offence under section 467.1 or an indictable offence under this or any other Act of Parliament committed for the benefit of, at the direction of or in association with a criminal organization for which the maximum punishment is imprisonment for five years or more, or
(b) a conspiracy or an attempt to commit, being an accessory after the fact in relation to, or any counselling in relation to, an offence referred to in paragraph (a);

"day" «jour»
"day" means the period between six o'clock in the forenoon and nine o'clock in the afternoon of the same day;

"document of title to goods" «titre de marchandises» Receipts and stuff.
"document of title to goods" includes a bought and sold note, bill of lading, warrant, certificate or order for the delivery or transfer of goods or any other valuable thing, and any other document used in the ordinary course of business as evidence of the possession or control of goods, authorizing or purporting to authorize, by endorsement or by delivery, the person in possession of the document to transfer or receive any goods thereby represented or therein mentioned or referred to;

"document of title to lands" «titre de bien-fonds» Deeds
"document of title to lands" includes any writing that is or contains evidence of the title, or any part of the title, to real property or to any interest in real property, and any notarial or registrar's copy thereof and any duplicate instrument, memorial, certificate or document authorized or required by any law in force in any part of Canada with respect to registration of titles that relates to title to real property or to any interest in real property;

"dwelling-house" «maison d'habitation»
"dwelling-house" means the whole or any part of a building or structure that is kept or occupied as a permanent or temporary residence, and includes
(a) a building within the curtilage of a dwelling-house that is connected to it by a doorway or by a covered and enclosed passage-way, and
(b) a unit that is designed to be mobile and to be used as a permanent or temporary residence and that is being used as such a residence;

"every one" "person", "owner" «quiconque», «individu», «personne» et «propriétaire»
"every one", "person", "owner", and similar expressions include Her Majesty and public bodies, bodies corporate, societies, companies and inhabitants of counties, parishes, municipalities or other districts in relation to the acts and things that they are capable of doing and owning respectively;

"explosive substance" «substance explosive» BOOOOM!
"explosive substance" includes
(a) anything intended to be used to make an explosive substance,
(b) anything, or any part thereof, used or intended to be used, or adapted to cause, or to aid in causing an explosion in or with an explosive substance, and
(c) an incendiary grenade, fire bomb, molotov cocktail or other similar incendiary substance or device and a delaying mechanism or other thing intended for use in connection with such a substance or device;

"feeble-minded person" Repealed, 1991, c. 43, s. 9

"firearm" « arme à feu » You can get mine if you pry it from my cold dead fingers!
"firearm" means a barrelled weapon from which any shot, [bullet[ or other projectile can be discharged and that is capable of causing serious bodily injury or death to a person, and includes any frame or receiver of such a barrelled weapon and anything that can be adapted for use as a firearm;

"Her Majesty's Forces" «forces de Sa Majesté» All the armed forces of members states of the commonwealth.
"Her Majesty's Forces" means the naval, army and air forces of Her Majesty wherever raised, and includes the Canadian Forces;

"highway" «voie publique» ou «grande route»
"highway" means a road to which the public has the right of access, and includes bridges over which or tunnels through which a road passes;

"indictment" «acte d'accusation»
"indictment" includes
(a) information or a count therein,
(b) a plea, replication or other pleading, and
(c) any record;

"internationally protected person" «personne jouissant d'une protection internationale» Ambassadors, heads of state, heads of government, etc etc.
"internationally protected person" means
(a) a head of state, including any member of a collegial body that performs the functions of a head of state under the constitution of the state concerned, a head of a government or a minister of foreign affairs, whenever that person is in a state other than the state in which he holds that position or office,
(b) a member of the family of a person described in paragraph (a) who accompanies that person in a state other than the state in which that person holds that position or office,
(c) a representative or an official of a state or an official or agent of an international organization of an intergovernmental character who, at the time when and at the place where an offence referred to in subsection 7(3) is committed against his person or any property referred to in section 431 that is used by him, is entitled, pursuant to international law, to special protection from any attack on his person, freedom or dignity, or
(d) a member of the family of a representative, official or agent described in paragraph (c) who forms part of his household, if the representative, official or agent, at the time when and at the place where any offence referred to in subsection 7(3) is committed against the member of his family or any property referred to in section 431 that is used by that member, is entitled, pursuant to international law, to special protection from any attack on his person, freedom or dignity;

"justice" «juge de paix»
"justice" means a justice of the peace or a provincial court judge, and includes two or more justices where two or more justices are, by law, required to act or, by law, act or have jurisdiction;

"magistrate" Repealed, R.S., 1985, c. 27 (1st Supp.), s. 2

"mental disorder" « troubles mentaux » No TV and no beer make Homer, something something...
"mental disorder" means a disease of the mind;

"military" «militaire»
"military" shall be construed as relating to all or any of the Canadian Forces;

"military law" «loi militaire»
"military law" includes all laws, regulations or orders relating to the Canadian Forces;

"motor vehicle" «véhicule à moteur» I wish I didn't drive an '89 Ford Tempo.
"motor vehicle" means a vehicle that is drawn, propelled or driven by any means other than muscular power, but does not include railway equipment;

"municipality" «municipalité»
"municipality" includes the corporation of a city, town, village, county, township, parish or other territorial or local division of a province, the inhabitants of which are incorporated or are entitled to hold property collectively for a public purpose;

"newly-born child" «enfant nouveau-né» ou «nouveau-né»
"newly-born child" means a person under the age of one year;

"night" «nuit» After all, who cares when the sun actually goes down?
"night" means the period between nine o'clock in the afternoon and six o'clock in the forenoon of the following day;

"offence-related property" « bien infractionnel »
"offence-related property" means any property, within or outside Canada,
(a) by means of or in respect of which a criminal organization offence is committed,
(b) that is used in any manner in connection with the commission of a criminal organization offence, or
(c) that is intended for use for the purpose of committing a criminal organization offence,but does not include real property, other than real property built or significantly modified for the purpose of facilitating the commission of a criminal organization offence;

"offender" «contrevenant»
"offender" means a person who has been determined by a court to be guilty of an offence, whether on acceptance of a plea of guilty or on a finding of guilt;

"offensive weapon" «arme offensive»
"offensive weapon" has the same meaning as "weapon";
Inoffensive weapons on the other hand...

"peace officer" «agent de la paix» These guys get mentioned a lot!
"peace officer" includes
(a) a mayor, warden, reeve, sheriff, deputy sheriff, sheriff's officer and justice of the peace,
(b) a member of the Correctional Service of Canada who is designated as a peace officer pursuant to Part I of the Corrections and Conditional Release Act, and a warden, deputy warden, instructor, keeper, jailer, guard and any other officer or permanent employee of a prison other than a penitentiary as defined in Part I of the Corrections and Conditional Release Act,
(c) a police officer, police constable, bailiff, constable, or other person employed for the preservation and maintenance of the public peace or for the service or execution of civil process,
(d) an officer or a person having the powers of a customs or excise officer when performing any duty in the administration of the Customs Act or the Excise Act,
(e) a person designated as a fishery guardian under the Fisheries Act when performing any duties or functions under that Act and a person designated as a fishery officer under the Fisheries Act when performing any duties or functions under that Act or the Coastal Fisheries Protection Act,
(f) the pilot in command of an aircraft
(i) registered in Canada under regulations made under the Aeronautics Act, or
(ii) leased without crew and operated by a person who is qualified under regulations made under the Aeronautics Act to be registered as owner of an aircraft registered in Canada under those regulations, while the aircraft is in flight, and
(g) officers and non-commissioned members of the Canadian Forces who are
(i) appointed for the purposes of section 156 of the National Defence Act, or
(ii) employed on duties that the Governor in Council, in regulations made under the National Defence Act for the purposes of this paragraph, has prescribed to be of such a kind as to necessitate that the officers and non-commissioned members performing them have the powers of peace officers;

"prison" «prison»
"prison" includes a penitentiary, common jail, public or reformatory prison, lock-up, guard-room or other place in which persons who are charged with or convicted of offences are usually kept in custody;

"property" «biens» ou «propriété» Stuff
"property" includes
(a) real and personal property of every description and deeds and instruments relating to or evidencing the title or right to property, or giving a right to recover or receive money or goods,
(b) property originally in the possession or under the control of any person, and any property into or for which it has been converted or exchanged and anything acquired at any time by the conversion or exchange, and
(c) any postal card, postage stamp or other stamp issued or prepared for issue under the authority of Parliament or the legislature of a province for the payment to the Crown or a corporate body of any fee, rate or duty, whether or not it is in the possession of the Crown or of any person;

"prosecutor" «poursuivant»
"prosecutor" means the Attorney General or, where the Attorney General does not intervene, means the person who institutes proceedings to which this Act applies, and includes counsel acting on behalf of either of them;

"provincial court judge" «juge de la cour provinciale»
"provincial court judge" means a person appointed or authorized to act by or pursuant to an Act of the legislature of a province, by whatever title that person may be designated, who has the power and authority of two or more justices of the peace and includes the lawful deputy of that person;

"public department" «ministère public» Ministry of Truth, Ministry of Plenty, Ministry of Peace, Ministry of Love.
"public department" means a department of the Government of Canada or a branch thereof or a board, commission, corporation or other body that is an agent of Her Majesty in right of Canada;

"public officer" «fonctionnaire public»
"public officer" includes
(a) an officer of customs or excise,
(b) an officer of the Canadian Forces,
(c) an officer of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, and
(d) any officer while the officer is engaged in enforcing the laws of Canada relating to revenue, customs, excise, trade or navigation;

"public stores" «approvisionnements publics»
"public stores" includes any personal property that is under the care, supervision, administration or control of a public department or of any person in the service of a public department;

"railway equipment" «matériel ferroviaire»
"railway equipment" means
(a) any machine that is constructed for movement exclusively on lines of railway, whether or not the machine is capable of independent motion, or
(b) any vehicle that is constructed for movement both on and off lines of railway while the adaptations of that vehicle for movement on lines of railway are in use;

"steal" «voler»
"steal" means to commit theft;

"superior court of criminal jurisdiction" «cour supérieure de juridiction criminelle»
"superior court of criminal jurisdiction" means
(a) in the Province of Ontario, the Court of Appeal or the Superior Court of Justice,
(b) in the Province of Quebec, the Superior Court,
(c) in the Province of Prince Edward Island, the Supreme Court,
(d) in the Provinces of New Brunswick, Manitoba, Saskatchewan and Alberta, the Court of Appeal or the Court of Queen's Bench,
(e) in the Provinces of Nova Scotia, British Columbia and Newfoundland, the Supreme Court or the Court of Appeal,
(f) in the Yukon Territory, the Supreme Court,
(g) in the Northwest Territories, the Supreme Court, and
(h) in Nunavut, the Nunavut Court of Justice;

"territorial division" «circonscription territoriale»
"territorial division" includes any province, county, union of counties, township, city, town, parish or other judicial division or place to which the context applies;

"testamentary instrument" «acte testamentaire»
"testamentary instrument" includes any will, codicil or other testamentary writing or appointment, during the life of the testator whose testamentary disposition it purports to be and after his death, whether it relates to real or personal property or to both;

"trustee" «fiduciaire»
"trustee" means a person who is declared by any Act to be a trustee or is, by the law of a province, a trustee, and, without restricting the generality of the foregoing, includes a trustee on an express trust created by deed, will or instrument in writing, or by parol;

"unfit to stand trial" « inaptitude à subir son procès »
"unfit to stand trial" means unable on account of mental disorder to conduct a defence at any stage of the proceedings before a verdict is rendered or to instruct counsel to do so, and, in particular, unable on account of mental disorder to
(a) understand the nature or object of the proceedings,
(b) understand the possible consequences of the proceedings, or
(c) communicate with counsel;

"valuable mineral" « minéraux précieux »
"valuable mineral" means a mineral of a value of at least $100 per kilogram, and includes precious metals, diamonds and other gemstones and any rock or ore that contains those minerals;

"valuable security" «valeur» ou «effet appréciable»
"valuable security" includes
(a) an order, exchequer acquittance or other security that entitles or evidences the title of any person
(i) to a share or interest in a public stock or fund or in any fund of a body corporate, company or society, or
(ii) to a deposit in a financial institution,
(b) any debenture, deed, bond, bill, note, warrant, order or other security for money or for payment of money,
(c) a document of title to lands or goods wherever situated,
(d) a stamp or writing that secures or evidences title to or an interest in a chattel personal, or that evidences delivery of a chattel personal, and
(e) a release, receipt, discharge or other instrument evidencing payment of money;

"victim" « victime »
"victim" includes the victim of an alleged offence;

"weapon" « arme »
"weapon" means any thing used, designed to be used or intended for use
(a) in causing death or injury to any person, or
(b) for the purpose of threatening or intimidating any person and, without restricting the generality of the foregoing, includes a firearm;

"wreck" «épave» Just like The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald!
"wreck" includes the cargo, stores and tackle of a vessel and all parts of a vessel separated from the vessel, and the property of persons who belong to, are on board or have quitted a vessel that is wrecked, stranded or in distress at any place in Canada;

"writing" «écrit»
"writing" includes a document of any kind and any mode in which, and any material on which, words or figures, whether at length or abridged, are written, printed or otherwise expressed, or a map or plan is inscribed.

R.S., 1985, c. C-46, s. 2; R.S., 1985, c. 11 (1st Supp.), s. 2, c. 27 (1st Supp.), ss. 2, 203, c. 31 (1st Supp.), s. 61, c. 1 (2nd Supp.), s. 213, c. 27 (2nd Supp.), s. 10, c. 35 (2nd Supp.), s. 34, c. 32 (4th Supp.), s. 55, c. 40 (4th Supp.), s. 2; 1990, c. 17, s. 7; 1991, c. 1, s. 28, c. 40, s. 1, c. 43, ss. 1, 9; 1992, c. 20, s. 216, c. 51, s. 32; 1993, c. 28, s. 78, c. 34, s. 59; 1994, c. 44, s. 2; 1995, c. 29, ss. 39, 40, c. 39, s. 138; 1997, c. 23, s. 1; 1998, c. 30, s. 14; 1999, c. 3, s. 25, c. 5, s. 1, c. 25, s. 1(Preamble), c. 28, s. 155; 2000, c. 12, s. 91, c. 25, s. 1(F).

Descriptive cross-references
3. Where, in any provision of this Act, a reference to another provision of this Act or a provision of any other Act is followed by words in parenthesis that are or purport to be descriptive of the subject-matter of the provision referred to, the words in parenthesis form no part of the provision in which they occur but shall be deemed to have been inserted for convenience of reference only.

1976-77, c. 53, s. 2.

PART I

General