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Wed Jul 10 2002 at 23:45:39 (12 years ago )
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I'm gonna kick some node ass or embarrass myself terribly trying.
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Today's speciality is trout a la creme. Enjoy your meal.
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limbo inc.
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art is life, only cooler.
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Subcultural theory
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Anecdote for a Film

Jean Paul was the head chef at Velos, and he knew his herbs. Some of the best weed in Montreal was sold out the back door of that restaurant. The employee turnover was lower than the yakuza’s. See the waiters, bus boys, everyone who worked there got a free sample of JP’s plant almost every night, and a 20% employee discount. The catch was, if you said one negative comment about his stuff in front of him, he flipped, and your job is finished. So this makes it real damned important that everyone who works there get along, cause if you’re a new guy, and you get one anyone’s bad side, one word to JP about how you claimed you tried better herb in high school, and you’re fucked.

That’s how the Victor thing started. No one thought he was too swift to begin with. Then he got drunk one night after work, and starts coming on to Rebecca, Dave the dishwasher’s girlfriend, right in front of everyone. Two days later he got his weeks notice.

Problem: Victor didn’t seem to understand the inner workings of the restaurant. He was real pissed about getting fired. So he decides that JP’s a prick and deserves to be ripped off. Thing is, Victor is too stupid to pull off any kind of scam, and he knows it. So what he does is, he hides out one Friday night – this is the brilliant bit – in the dumpster behind the restaurant, playing Nancy fucking Drew. But after a couple hours the stench really starts to get to him, he starts to feel really queasy. So he crawls out of the dumpster, and just as he does, one of JP’s clients walks up, and Victor vomits all over this dude’s nice Italian shoes. This big, well dressed black guy looks down calmly at his feet (Victor doesn’t move), bends down and starts untying his laces. While Victor’s still on his knees on the pavement, this crazy fuck pulls off his shoes, opens up the dumpster and throws them in. Then he finally says to Victor, “get up.” So Victor gets up, staring down at the man’s argyle socks, then gets punched out immediately, and tossed back in the dumpster.

What happened while good ol’ Vic was passed out in the trash is anyone’s guess. But when he finally wakes up, the shoeless dude is gone, and Victor hears a car pull up to the back door. This is where he overhears JP’s plans for a major deal with someone. Apparently Victor got all the details – when, who, even where J.P. is holding a huge shipment. So because he’s either too spineless to pull it off, or just too stupid, he’s going to sell the info to some asshole the name of Chester. How the hell do we know that Vic’s not full of shit and looking for a quick buck? First, if you were telling some bullshit story, would you say how you were sick on some big black dude’s shoes, and how he punched your lights out and threw you in the trash? Second, Victor may be a ]dumbass], but he doesn’t have a death wish. We’ve all seen the kind of upstanding citizens Chester and company are, and he’s not a dude you wanna be messing with. So either Victor’s story pans out, or Chester and the rest of his coven have a fresh sacrifice for their next pagan ritual.