the worst part of it is that I have stage fright
I always have, since I was five
and I remember kneeling down in that bear suit
in front of the whole fucking theater
while hearing someone say
they've never seen so much vomit
coming out of such a small child

yes I am only comfortable in her sight
as scrutinizing as it is
I figure that the only thing that makes me
more uncomfortable
is having her not look at me

so when she says it's exciting
when strangers look at her
it's okay:
is anyone as gorgeous as her
supposed to feel anything else?
I love her in the mornings and when she comes late at night
she throws her arms around the balcony and says
"they're around", and I know it's time
to start it again


(I still have stage fright)


at least now, though
I have both stage fright and
her
with her shirt off

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