THE UNIFIED THEORY OF STUFF:
1. Everyone has stuff. Even ascetic hermits have a sheet.
2. Stuff cannot be destroyed. Every time you look, there the stuff is.
3. Stuff -can- be created. In fact, if you -don't- look at your stuff for
a while (technically, a bunch of Planck epochs) the next time you -do- look,
there will be more stuff.
4. Stuff has spooky effects at a distance on the human nervous system. You
will never remember, and hardly ever understand, why you have that stuff.
This theory was originally conceived by John M. Ford.