I have the knack for timing when it comes to moving. Last year, my roomie and I moved into our place in the French Quarter on New Year's Eve. Then when we moved out, it was during Southern Decadence, an annual gay pride event where at some point a bunch of men run a marathon all clad in red evening gowns.

Now I pick the time of year where we have received some of the hottest record days in modern history. I also have to move my belongings from one second floor apartment without AC to another second floor apartment without AC.

Even though I know for a fact that all of our skin has pores, I had not yet known that certain parts of my body could sweat so profusely. Like my ass or my shoulders or my scalp.

It was 120 degrees in the body shop yesterday. It was 85 at 9pm last night. Today I took out an advance to buy a window unit when I go out to Sam's Club tonight.

Chah, I'm retarded.

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