Do you know one of the things I lie to myself about?
I've convinced myself that I don't feel.
what he tells her, while she sits with the world in her lap, crumbling
buns, her glass of coke losing its chill. She doesn’t think, just
listens to him.
Because I do feel. I've just convinced myself that I don't, and so I don't.
And I'm not entirely sure.
I think part of the idea is that, if I don't feel, I can't be hurt.
is leaving out all of her that’d respond to him, which would be all
fourteen again and run into his arms; though he is completely
unsuspecting and his arms are probably folded inwards so many times he
can’t breathe properly anymore. His innocence of heart is an ignorance
hurting him. If you don’t feel, are you alive?
He tells her
that there’s emptiness on the tip of his tongue, he doesn’t allow
himself to go beyond such triviality, though it’s his own knowledge
that restricts his actions. He stifles his emotions, because without
them, he can operate efficiently. It’s some sort of fear, she reckons.
Maybe it fits with his lack of purpose, and she wonders silently,
doesn’t speak her mind. He needs an ultimate goal?
In terms of materialistic things, I just don't really care.
In terms of people,
with the possible exception of you, I don't really have anyone.
Yes, I have my parents and they love me,
but I can't honestly say that I know I love them back.
eyes trying to dig holes into his soul, asking him where she fits in to
all of this, what has he made her become? She doesn’t want to be yet
another goal without purpose, thing without meaning.
You do a lot of things for me,
but they're not why I keep talking to you.
I do that because I like talking to you.
help me discover myself and figure out who/what I am. A sounding board,
perhaps? But then for what? Maybe it's that you make me feel
interesting. Or perhaps you're a vent. You’re interesting to talk to.
You’re not a thing to me. You are an independent person.
She thinks they’re similar in some way that is important to him. That he will have to find out, if he wants to. He says he does.