Do you know one of the things I lie to myself about?
Feeling.
I've convinced myself that I don't feel.


It’s what he tells her, while she sits with the world in her lap, crumbling buns, her glass of coke losing its chill. She doesn’t think, just listens to him.

Because I do feel. I've just convinced myself that I don't, and so I don't.
And I'm not entirely sure.
I think part of the idea is that, if I don't feel, I can't be hurt.

She is leaving out all of her that’d respond to him, which would be all fourteen again and run into his arms; though he is completely unsuspecting and his arms are probably folded inwards so many times he can’t breathe properly anymore. His innocence of heart is an ignorance hurting him. If you don’t feel, are you alive?

He tells her that there’s emptiness on the tip of his tongue, he doesn’t allow himself to go beyond such triviality, though it’s his own knowledge that restricts his actions. He stifles his emotions, because without them, he can operate efficiently. It’s some sort of fear, she reckons. Maybe it fits with his lack of purpose, and she wonders silently, doesn’t speak her mind. He needs an ultimate goal?

In terms of materialistic things, I just don't really care.
In terms of people,
with the possible exception of you, I don't really have anyone.
Yes, I have my parents and they love me,
but I can't honestly say that I know I love them back.


Her eyes trying to dig holes into his soul, asking him where she fits in to all of this, what has he made her become? She doesn’t want to be yet another goal without purpose, thing without meaning.

You do a lot of things for me,
but they're not why I keep talking to you.
I do that because I like talking to you.
-

You help me discover myself and figure out who/what I am. A sounding board, perhaps? But then for what? Maybe it's that you make me feel interesting. Or perhaps you're a vent. You’re interesting to talk to.
You’re not a thing to me. You are an independent person.


She thinks they’re similar in some way that is important to him. That he will have to find out, if he wants to. He says he does.

Log in or registerto write something here or to contact authors.