preface

As you read this little mommy and me journal, you may think, this thing jumps from one subject to the next, completely unrelated topic, so rapidly it’s like random chaos. It just doesn’t make sense. If you have jumped to this conclusion, think again. It just goes to prove...

that..............
your..................
.....brain....................
..........is........................
..............moving..............
..................way......................
......................way.......................
.........................way........................
.............................too..........................
................................slow.............................

(myself included)

It all makes perfect sense to them.

And let’s face it, they are way too smart for our own good.


it's all about Her:

in the car (4th grade)

"Ok mom. Let's just batchion down the hatchets.

Do we have trust?


at school (2nd grade)

The teacher asked her to write about and draw her room at home,

"My room has bubles for walls. I can go inside my walls. Thats where my Food is. My walls have music in them and my walls are mood changing walls. I have a disco ball in my room. A pet dog, cat and snake. I have a pool in my house and jacuzy tube thats huge! On my closet I have "scary movie" comics. In my closet I have skirts, shirts, pants and special hats and scarfs."

(There's a picture. Inside the walls, she drew ice cream cones, lollypops, hershey bars, m & m's, chocolate kisses, popcorn and pepperoni pizza.)

her political views (first grade)

My brother asked her what she thought about President Bush,

"I think they should all go take a nap."

her look (9 years old)

She is a fashion icon and foremost authority on proper style.
She wears skirts in place of shirts,
or three skirts for the bottom half.
She doesn't follow any rules but her own... well... (and mine)... before she walks out the door to greet the world on Her 9 year old terms.
There is always some amazing final affect with the most unexpected combinations and placement of components.

she already steals my bras

They look really interesting (on her) worn as outerwear with tissue stuffed in them. A bra can make a very fine hat, sometimes a scarf or a tow line for a barbie SUV filled with beanie babies, barbie amputees and missing limbs stored safely in the trunk.

halloween

At 4 months old, she was a cute little pumpkin.

Fast forward to 5. We had an assortment of pretty little princess gowns, just like all the other sweet little girls. She didn’t like any of them. She didn’t want another costume. It was time to go trick or treating...

Finally she said, “Mommy? Can’t I just be myself?”

“Well...er.. of course you can honey.”

It was so funny watching the puzzled looks on people's faces as we trick or treated with her little gang of friends. They would say, “and what are you supposed to be?”

”A little girl,” she said.

Over the next couple years, she was better able to define her very own personal preferences.... anything with blood was good to go, and, ”no girlie stuff mom”.

snow white and the dead girl

When she was 8, we were invited to a lovely catered halloween party on a big ranch with some very nice families. Everyone had fabulous costumes: ballerinas, clowns, rag dolls, rock stars, pirates, a full range of the usual stuff. She had it down this year. She was "the dead girl". She was dressed like a miniature biker chick, leather jacket and all, and a big screw all bloody thru her head. Simply charming. I had to think of how to compliment this motif so I, being her mother, was Snow White all-growed-up (30 years later). Of course, I was a biker chick too, with a tiara I borrowed from another little girl, my own black curly hair which I borrowed from myself, very red lips and a very bad attitude.

her favorite music (9 years old)

AC/DC
Aerosmith
Wilson Pickett
"The Ugly Bug Ball" (Summer Magic - Disney "63)
Taraf de Haidouks
Led Zeppelin
Georgia Satellites
“I Work in a Butt Factory
“My Momma Don’t Wear No Socks”

"Ok mom. Get off it already. Tina Turner is not the greatest female rock singer that ever lived. That’s not a fact. That's just your opinion."


her original compositions

“You be the windshield. I’ll be the bird poop”(9)

“I’ve got things in my brain that you don’t know about”(7)

“He pissed me off so I ate his brains for breakfast”(8)

she is just like Eliza Thornberry

All animals love her. Everytime we are at someone's house and they say, "watch out for the cat, it isn't friendly", the cat always loves her. There is some feral furry characteristic to her that charms animals and all the children in her school. She's a very popular little girl. I had to throw that in.

the princess phase

She skipped it.

she is queen

Spoken with an amazing Irish accent, “My mother was the Queen of Ireland. and she’s DEAD. So now I’m the Queen of Ireland. Off with your head.”

she is a jamaican fortune teller

”Darling.” Her voice is rich, velvety, slow deliberate, grownup and no doubt a Jamaican fortune teller.
”Darling.”
“Just relax.”
“Listen to me.”
“Darling.”
“Close your eyes. Relax. Imagine you are in an airplane. You jump out of the airplane. Your parachute is broken. It doesn’t open. Relax. You are falling and you look down and you see sharp spikes below you.” “Relax.”

At this point I scream. I mean that would be my reaction to the situation.
”Darling. Relax. Relax. You are falling......”
“Mommy. Will you quit making me laugh....”


she is a 75 year old man that just got his toe amputated

She can accurately simulate the voice of a 75 year old man. I swear. Well, that is after she is Katie Current on the evening news.
She imitates his wife too.
After flawlessly springing from two nurses and the doctor, in rapid succession.
She made me laugh so hard, I nearly stopped breathing.
I’ll leave this one for her presentation.

back in the car (still 9 years old)

“Mom. Do you have to embarrass me like that?”

“Why can’t you act like the other moms.”

“I love you mommy. You’re the best mommy in the whole world”


and I believe her.

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