At my place of employment we have a set of WindowsNT touch-screen terminals running a program called positouch, which allows us to enter orders, print checks, etc. One interesting aspect of the program is the "memo" button, which brings up a tiny keyboard on the screen, allowing us to type whatever we want on the tickets that will print up in the kitchen.

We're supposed to use this for instructions, such as "NO ONIONS" (it prints everything out in caps, lest the cooks overlook it) under an order for a cheeseburger, but, lately, boredom has motivated me to type in other things, such as:

1/4lb. Hamburger, HOLD THE PUPPY

NO MONKEY SAUCE

NO CHINGAR EL BURRO, POR FAVOR

There are also preset buttons for instructions like, "no","extra","sauce","mayo",etc. which yield interesting results when pressed repeatedly:

Chicken Fajitas
no
no
no
extra
no
no
cheese
tomatoes
cheese
onions
no
no
tomatoes
tomatoes
tomatoes
tomatoes
jalapenos (and, to, top it off, add the memo feature with these buttons)
extra
TERRESTRIAL GOAT CREATURES FROM THE FUCK GALAXY

The cook will get a piece of paper in the kitchen looking just like the above. As you can see, I have too much free time at work.

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