Thank you mother
, from you and your knockers, I inherited a whopping
bust size of 34 E. And gods
, do I hate them.
It's virtually impossible for me to go to a store and buy a bra that fits
me. I remember walking into Victoria's Secret a few months ago for the first
time to buy myself some nice bras, and leaving 10 minutes later in tears.
What had happened was:
Me (walks in and asks clerk behind counter): "Can you show me
where you keep the larger sizes?"
Clerk: "What size are you looking for?"
Me (blushing, in a very tiny voice): "Size...34...E?"
Clerk (blinks and stares at me...then bursts into uncontrollable laughter.)
Me (turns and walks back out, crying.)
Oh, yes. That was UNBEATABLE customer service. Bravo. Fuck your commissions!
Now that I look back, I wish I'd reported her, hit her, crucified her, burned
her at the stake, or maybe something a little meaner than walking out and crying.
A lot of my friends have very small breasts, and constantly tell me how they
wish they had mine...and I constantly hit them. It's not very fun to have large
breasts, unless you're in the porn business.
Reasons Girls DO NOT Want Big Breasts (trust me):
1. They are very heavy and they hurt your back.
2. They get in the way when you need to lean over something for some reason.
3. You get way too much unwanted attention.
4. They make very few larger sized bras that look good and feel good at
the same time.
5. During pregnancy, they hurt like hell.
6. You need to buy larger sized shirts just to fit your tits in them.
7. You are raised inches off the bed if you ever try to sleep on your stomach.
8. Any form of running becomes a hazard
(yes, I got hit in the face once
with my own tit.)
9. They sweat more.
10. If your hips don't match your bust in size, you get very unbalanced.
See? It's all plain and simple. Having large breasts is not all it's cracked
up to be. In fact, my girlfriend just looked online for me to shop
for my bra size...and all they had were nursing bras in my size...for over $30...each...plus
shipping and handling. $30? Hell, for that price, I can buy myself a couple
rolls of duct tape and fix it permanently.
(By the way, using duct tape is NOT a good idea, I was not in any way serious
about using it, and I do not recommend it in any way.)
By the way...some girls who have large breasts enjoy having them and don't
complain. I don't mean to offend anyone, I'm just stating what I've learned.