Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon programmer in your company.
- Specifications are for the weak and timid!
- This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
- You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've heard it read in the original Klingon.
- Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull with my bat'leth!!
- What is this talk of "release"? Klingons do not make software releases. Our software "escapes," leaving a bloody trail of designers and testers in its wake.
- Klingon function calls do not have "parameters"- they have "arguments"- and they always win them!
- Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
- I have challenged the entire testing team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.
- A true Klingon Warrior does not comment his code
- By filing this incident report you have challenged the honour of my family. Prepare to die!
- You question the worthiness of my code?! I should kill you where you stand!
- Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!