Lately it has come to my attention that somewhere along the line I have developed "bad nerves
"... possibly inherited
from my father
as he's had problems
of a similar nature
for as long as I can remember
. I'm pretty sure it's not a true anxiety issue
because it takes a hell of a lot to bring it out in either of us, but when it does... God damn
With recent layoffs at work, bills, and life giving me a screw-job in general these past couple months; I've had some difficulties functioning. Today was the second time I really got nailed in the recent past. Pretty much the same thing both times. I get shakes (I can barely type now), weakness in the knees, stiff back, neck, and shoulders, upset stomach, headache, scattered thought, and a feeling that my eyes are sinking back into my skull eliminating peripheral vision and causing dizziness. It almost feels like I'm not really there, but closely following myself... like I am my own familiar.
Sometimes I really feel I should make some changes in my life to avoid this from happening... but then I usually go see what's on the t.v. Besides, I wouldn't trade this for anything if dealing with it made me half the person I view my father to be. Good thing I'm "sane guy" or I might be a bit concerned.