...I should be allowed to bump them, just slightly, in the ass...

The ideal, of course, would be to have some mechanism inside the car that could bitch slap the driver for such offenses, but then, I'm sure I'd be on the receiving end of that at some point.

It's a joke around New Orleans that cars here have optional turn signals. No one uses them regularly, it seems, much to my chagrin. I very seldom use any major interstates or highways, so I couldn't tell you if they help any more or less than turn signals on smaller streets. I would like to believe that the slower the pace of the cars, the closer the cars are going to be to one another, and therefore the shorter the reaction time. I work on a major throroughfare in the suburbs, so I get behind a lot of people turning to go into a mall, bank, or fast food chains. It's assumed that these drivers go to these places regularly, so maybe they think I can read their minds when their car expresses oh jeez honey, I forgot they're having a sale at Sears on toaster cozies! and violently turns right, crossing three lanes of traffic.

The ones I like even better are the subtle non-users, the ones who casually glide over in front of you as though they will go undetected simply because their gesture is fluid.

I would love for it be legal for me to punt them in the rear end when they fail to notify me of their turn. Just a little smack! you're an idiot love tap. If it were, I'd lovingly strap a two by four to the front bumper of my Festiva and take an extra long lunch to find all the guilty parties in my area.

Even though they can't hear me through two windshields, I am always yelling at them how nice their inconsiderate ignorance is for me. Course, I could always use my horn, but I doubt they'd know why I was honking at them.

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