Note 1: For all you SCA types, the periodicity of this method is semi-debatable, but so is the periodicity of the kilt.
Note 2: You might do well to do a search on Google and find a site with pictures...it'll help immensely the first few times.

You need: One belt. One great kilt, preferably at least 60 inches wide and at least five yards long. Longer is better, especially if you're a larger gentleman; some say the kilt is the source of the phrase The Whole Nine Yards. Please, wear a real kilt, and don't join Clan Pizza Hut.

  1. Put the belt on the floor, with the inside facing up.
  2. Lay the kilt across the belt with the belt towards the bottom (waist level relative to one edge, considering that the kilt should bisect the knee) and approximately centered. Unless you have a really thin waist, you'll want the kilt and belt to both be lengthwise.
  3. Pleat the kilt from the middle outwards by making small folds in the material towards the center. The deeper the pleats, the better the swing, though too deep and you'll wind up looking silly. You did figure out where the center of the kilt was, didn't you?
  4. Continue pleating until, when you lay down on the kilt as if you were about to wrap it around yourself and put it on, the kilt ends at about the middle of your forearms.
  5. Lay down on the kilt in the above manner, ensuring that it bisects the knees.
  6. Pull one side over you till it about lines up with the opposing leg.
  7. Pull the other side over the first
  8. Adjust your belt to waist level. Yes, your waist, not your hips.
  9. Belt yourself.
  10. Stand up. You are now done with pleating the great kilt; you will notice a great deal of leftover material. People usually throw it over one shoulder, or pin the material in place, or make pockets. There's even a way to get a nice warm coat with a hood! Experiment.
Congratulations! You have just taken your first step to ensuring fresh loin air. Of course, the first time you do it you might want to try it with underwear.

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