Bumper Bait Bucket Seat

While riding on my motorcycle the other day, I happened to notice a woman in a vehicle with three small children in her care. This is a more than common sight, with the exception that none of the children were within Texas’ child safety seat laws. Also, according to the Center For Disease Control Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report 1999, use of child restraining devices reduces risk of death by seventy-one percent for infants and fifty-four percent for toddlers. With this in mind, I have designed a new seat for parents/persons who are caught driving without children properly restrained.

Bumper Bait Bucket Seat - Legislation passed within the state of Texas on September 01, 2001 needs to be amended to add the stipulation of the following device to be fitted to any vehicle which is owned/operated by person(s) found to violate such legislation.

This seat will contain the following items for construction – Qty one (1) steel plate of one inch thickness measuring 3 ft x 1.5 ft, Qty one (1) milk crate, All necessary linkage to allow steering and pedal control from installed seat, Qty one (1) timed pressure switch.

CONSTRUCTION - The steel plate will be welded to the vehicle’s undercarriage to allow the milk crate to be positioned ahead of the vehicle’s bumper on the vehicle’s driver side. The linkage will be attached to the steel plate to allow throttle, brake, and steering to be accomplished from the milk crate. The pressure switch will be positioned under the seat and timer set so the vehicle fuel will be shut off within forty-five seconds of the vehicle’s ignition switch activating the car. If pressure is relieved from the switch at any time after the initial ignition, the vehicle’s fuel system will shut off.

When this seat is installed upon a vehicle’s current construct, the owner/operator will also be given a decal to place on their driver’s license, a sign to be displayed publicly on any and all property, a special tattoo for display across their forehead, and state-only removable sign for their vehicle which will state –

Bumper Bait Bucket Bastard – Strike if Offended

Sources: http://www.buckleuptexas.com/childsafety/default.asp - http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/duip/research/boosterseat.htm - http://www.cdc.gov/safeusa/move/childpassenger.htm

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