damn. I don't have the heart. Let me just be meta instead. Geezerize the Book of Genesis. Maybe do some other creation myths instead. But the real beauty would be in a fresh cosmology. Gotta be careful not to make it a concatenation of a bunch of old jokes, even though they seem to have gotten away with it in infinite jest or Magnolia. Okay, they didn't get away with it in Magnolia. (Hell, in my day, the only way you could get away with making a three hour movie was if it was about God or the Civil War. Thought we'd be done with that after that damned Kevin Kostner made that the Postman crap. )

Could do it via dueling geezers where they one-up each other to the dawn of time.

In my day,
there was nothing. Now don't be giving me lip about no in the beginning crap, because it wasn't then, you little whippersnapper. We didn't have a beginning. It was before that. Don't go pretending you can understand nothing either, because you don't understand nothing, get it? Of course not. Anyway, in my day, if we wanted something, we made it. From what we had at hand. And if we didn't have anything at hand, we made that, too. And if we didn't want anything, we made it anyway, because there was no sittin around goofin off like you kids do these days.

I hear you young folks all the time complaining because you got "nothing to do" or there’s "nothing on tv" or you ain’t got "nothing to wear". Well, I remember when we didn’t have nothing. Nothing ain’t always been around. I remember before there was nothing. Yeah, one day I heard about nothing, and I thought to myself, "what sorta newfangled stuff is this ‘nothing?’" Well, for a while, nothing was real hard to get even if you wanted some, but none of you seem to have any trouble finding any, and even when you do you complain, ‘cause you kids today are soft. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard a youngster say, "There’s nothing here," or "there’s nothing goin’ on" like that was a bad thing. You don’t know how lucky you are! Spending some time with no nothing ought to toughen you up, but I don’t know if I could talk your folks into letting you do that, and I don’t think there are any places without nothing anymore. More’s the pity. People started to get soft when nothing came around, and that’s a fact.

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