My mind's been full of these questions for the last few days and i tell you it is important not to misunderstand the point of this game. I've been calling it in my head "If you were an x, what" - but then i remember of course what it was originally called. "Originally" used loosely, of course of course. Things like this don't have origin. Do you think eat poop you cat sprang full-grown with that name? (hint: no. Miciah made up the name.)

If you were a dessert, what dessert would you be?

This does not mean, 'What is your favorite dessert?' or even 'Wouldn't you like to be the chocolate mousse she's eating right now?'. Nothing like that.

Pauline and Arielle and i would sit for hours, in a field, on a bed on the floor, in the shiny Everlast Diner on the way into Poughkeepsie, roughing out sketches of each others' essences. Does it matter that we were all poets? Maybe.

Perhaps you're a pen. What kind of pen?

Some people really are enamelled Waterman pens, or fancy pens that sneakily leak on your fingers, or chewed-up white-barrel black-ink Bics. But there's always room for argument. Someone comes up with the question; maybe it was designed with someone in mind (I know if she were a pen the ink would be green and smooth...) - but everyone gets to chime in and correct. Then the question is pointed each and every way like a wand or weapon, so you all get a turn to be scrutinized and summed up.

If you had a tail, i thought, what kind of tail would it be?

Listen, literal-minded. This does not mean, what kind of tail would a human have if they did have one - nothing so mundane. This also does not mean what kind of tail would you most desire to have (i won't even ask). This means, you wake up tomorrow endowed with a tail, it was given to you by the same forces that give you all your luck and all your tempers and all your talents. Is it samoyed? is it possum? is it prehensile or is it armed like an ankylosaur? Perhaps you fancy a squirrel tail. Is it what your personality warrants? Or,

If you were a landscape, what landscape yould you resemble?

Perhaps, sometimes, it can be shaped by your concrete past. Maybe you can't take the Hawaiian out of the native, or the New York out of the -er. Maybe a Vermonter will always be mountains, but then again, some people just seem to be Mars. Red. Hot. Dry. Exotic. Not martian, but a martian landscape. An essence is a soup-pot in a kitchen of blind cooks. We're just tasting. So,

If you were a game, how would someone win?


If you were a metal...
If you were a vegetable...
If you were a stone...
If you were a mythical creature...
If you were office supplies...
If you were a beverage...

...i'd still love you, you know.

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