The white coat, the smell of alcohol, the fear of the needle fill the mind when it is time to go to the doctor. Maybe I will just get some pleasant tasting medicine.

12 years of training after high school, books, journels, lectures, tapes, computer databases and I still don,t know what to do for that patient. I sent her to one consultant and then the other but here she is in my exam room still suffering looking to me for help. I will listen, council and hope.
Medicine is just like that some days

To tamper with; to inject ether or alcohol into beer; to cut whisky or drugs; to alter checks, bonds, currency denominations, etc. fraudulently; to mark playing cards; to load dice; to alter the appearance of anything for the purpose of fraud.

- american underworld dictionary - 1950

With a few exceptions, doctors don't really cure diseases, they manage medical problems.

One thing they should teach every student at medical school is "kill as few patients as possible".

A person who spends a few decades learning to recognize disease and the rest of his/her life learning the art of healing its sufferers. Some still prefer to call this a science. They are the ones who usually fail to heal best, for scepticism--the sceptre in the hands of science--is the greatest anti-placebo. As Hippocrates said: "Life is short, and the Art long; the occasion fleeting; experience fallacious, and judgment difficult."

The Hippocratic Oath
(in its original form)

I swear by Apollo the physician and Aesculapius, and Health, and All-heal, and all the gods and goddesses, that, according to my ability and judgment,
I will keep this Oath and this stipulation--to reckon him who taught me this Art equally dear to me as my parents, to share my substance with him, and relieve his necessities if required; to look upon his offspring in the same footing as my own brothers, and to teach them this art, if they shall wish to learn it, without fee or stipulation; and that by precept, lecture, and every other mode of instruction,
I will impart a knowledge of the Art to my own sons, and those of my teachers, and to disciples bound by a stipulation and oath according to the law of medicine, but to none others.
I will follow that system of regimen which, according to my ability and judgement, I consider for the benefit of my patients(it is interesting to note the current Siamese twin case in the UK), and abstain from whatever is deleterious and mischievous.
I will give no deadly medicine to any one if asked, nor suggest any such counsel; and in like manner I will not give to a woman a pessary to produce abortion. With purity and with holiness I will pass my life and practice my Art.
I will not cut persons labouring under the stone, but will leave this to be done by men who are practitioners of this work. Into whatever houses I enter, I will go into them for the benefit of the sick, and will abstain from every voluntary act of mischief and corruption; and, further, from the seduction of females or males, of freemen and slaves. Whatever, in connection with my professional service, or not in connection with it, I see or hear, in the life of men, which ought not to be spoken of abroad,
I will not divulge, as reckoning that all such should be kept secret. While I continue to keep this Oath unviolated, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and the practice of the art, respected by all men, in all times. But should I trespass and violate this Oath, may the reverse be my lot.

In Emacs, a command:

M-x doctor

A psychiatrist living inside your computer! (probably years and years and years before Dr. Sbaitso =)

I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each time you are finished talking, type RET twice.

The doctor is able to talk of your problems in variety of ways. It can talk of variety of topics (the sort of topics you often meet in academic environments where this program rose from).

The doctor can also be made to talk with Zippy the Pinhead with command M-x psychoanalyze-pinhead. (The doctor is well prepared: "Yow! Are we interactive yet?")

It might also be worth noting that the program was censored by RMS when the CDA was up, but fortunately the new versions know naughty words again...

Doc"tor (?), n. [OF. doctur, L. doctor, teacher, fr. docere to teach. See Docile.]

1.

A teacher; one skilled in a profession, or branch of knowledge learned man.

[Obs.]

One of the doctors of Italy, Nicholas Macciavel. Bacon.

2.

An academical title, originally meaning a men so well versed in his department as to be qualified to teach it. Hence: One who has taken the highest degree conferred by a university or college, or has received a diploma of the highest degree; as, a doctor of divinity, of law, of medicine, of music, or of philosophy. Such diplomas may confer an honorary title only.

3.

One duly licensed to practice medicine; a member of the medical profession; a physician.

By medicine life may be prolonged, yet death Will seize the doctor too. Shak.

4.

Any mechanical contrivance intended to remedy a difficulty or serve some purpose in an exigency; as, the doctor of a calico-printing machine, which is a knife to remove superfluous coloring matter; the doctor, or auxiliary engine, called also donkey engine.

5. Zool.

The friar skate.

[Prov. Eng.]

Doctors' Commons. See under Commons. -- Doctor's stuff, physic, medicine. G. Eliot. -- Doctor fish Zool., any fish of the genus Acanthurus; the surgeon fish; -- so called from a sharp lancetlike spine on each side of the tail. Also called barber fish. See Surgeon fish.

 

© Webster 1913.


Doc"tor, v. t. [imp. & p. p. Doctored (?); p. pr. & vb. n. Doctoring.]

1.

To treat as a physician does; to apply remedies to; to repair; as, to doctor a sick man or a broken cart.

[Colloq.]

2.

To confer a doctorate upon; to make a doctor.

3.

To tamper with and arrange for one's own purposes; to falsify; to adulterate; as, to doctor election returns; to doctor whisky.

[Slang]

 

© Webster 1913.


Doc"tor, v. i.

To practice physic.

[Colloq.]

 

© Webster 1913.

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