You realize how dependant the state of your mind and body is on chemicals when you wake up, your room drenched in sunlight and your body aching, your mind is encased in a not completely unpleasant serotonin-deprived fog. You will feel like this for the rest of the day, after you've showered, and it doesn't make any sense at all to you that you do not feel reborn after you are cleansed, why everything is not back to normal. You will feel like this for the rest of the day, and you will lay on a bed, unable to concentrate on a movie fully, yet unable to think of anything else, and so instead you will run your hands through the curly black hair of the boy sitting in front of you, and realize an attraction for the first time.

Just breathe, just breathe, and remember that it's not real.

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