How to have breakfast in bed
A paean to decadence


  • 1 free morning
  • 1 5-star hotel
  • Newspapers/magazines (optional)

It is always important to take care with the quality of your ingredients. The free morning should be long, leisurely and free of any trace of scheduling constraints. For the hotel, I would recommend putting in the little bit of extra effort and searching out one of the better ones which come with terry-cloth robes, disposable slippers and a turn-down service. Yes, it’s a bit more expensive, but when it comes to your food, you should always have the best you can afford!


  1. Start your breakfast the night before by filling out the breakfast menu provided and hanging it on your hotel room door. Note: for best results, it is important to allow at least 10 hours between this step and when you want to eat.

  2. Go to sleep.

  3. Wake up to the tactful knock of the room service waiter. Slip on your complementary robe and waddle muzzily over to the door and let them in. Climb back into bed (make sure in advance that the bed is indeed high and fluffy enough to need climbing into) and instruct them to place the breakfast trolley next to you.

  4. Start your breakfast proper by downing a glass of orange juice (it’s all so much better when the juice is freshly squeezed and comes in a little iced jug), then proceed to pour that all important first cup of coffee. Carefully replace the lid on the thermos coffee pot, to keep the coffee hot for use in later stages.

  5. Lay back on a mountain of pillows, close you eyes and savour that lovely coffee goodness for at least 10 minutes. You appetite should now be primed and ready to tackle any hot foods you planned to have the night before, be they pancakes with maple syrup, eggs Florentine or the full English. (If a tray is not provided, put the plate on your lap anyway and eat lounging comfortably; they’re not your sheets, and it’s not your laundry bill!)

  6. This final stage is what makes this the queen of breakfasts and distinguishes it from other merely decent early meals. Pour a second cup of coffee and uncover the little basket with home baked croissants, pain au chocolat, pain au raisin and brioche (also vanilla Danishes if you’re really lucky). Unfold your paper on your lap and browse through the weekend and leisure sections until you find something you want to read.

  7. Begin reading. Bite into pastry. Sip coffee. Repeat.

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