Quotes by the infamous Scott Zahn
Some examples of Zahnerisms are:
"Yes, both hemispheres work. I just choose not to use one of them"
"Whoa!" Scott's response to the realization that the term Windows Ninety-Stupid could apply to both Windows 95 AND 98.
"Through much postulation and experimentation I am fairly certain that the Theory of Relativity does not apply to corn dogs."
"Never anger the Buddha of Compassion, for then you are in big trouble."
"...but my brain is overclocked, that's why I take Ritalin."
"Just to let you all know, keebler vanilla wafers and light, sweet white wine
really go good together."
"Don't call my bluff. I'll make you weep like an infant child."
"Dude... I wouldn't try getting a date with that one."