You think you're fooling anyone? Tucking your little tail into those Old Navy cargo pants? Disguising your gerbil wheel as a new Saab? Claiming that Romanian accent of yours is actually French? (like we haven't seen enough Dracula movies to know the difference!) Having mutually satisfying sex with male and female gerbils? We're onto you, you free-lovin' Eastern European rodent! And as soon as we figure out what your username is, we're gonna get you good! We'll make you an Editor, goddamnit.

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