Wireless Wise is supposedly a quiz/trivia programme on Radio Four, which is aired during the vast expanses of unlistenable dead time between installments of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue and Just a Minute. The theme of the programme is to pose the guests trivia questions based on clips from the vast BBC archives. The chairman (David Hatch) spends the majority of each programme toadying and hinting the answers to the guests, who are invariably clapped out D-list celebs (and Barry Cryer). There is generally one old luvvie who thinks he's absolutely hilarious who interjects completely crap and obvious double entendre responses to everything anyone says.

The worst part of the show by a considerable margin, however, is the round at the end where the teams are played a series of clips that effectively act as an audio crossword clue. (So you might get someone talking about spotted dick, something refering to the Mob, and a snatch of Flight of the Bumblebee to get "Mob Bee Dick"... "Moby Dick!") But as these imbecilic sound collages are always hopelessly obscure, and/or the guests are hopelessly thick, Hatch has to basically tell them the answer every fucking time. ("So that makes BRIDGE on the RIVER.... sounds like PIE... you've nearly got it ... WELL DONE!!")

When me and my parents have the misfortune to catch this program, I always manage to answer the clues within five picoseconds and my Dad becomes almost incandescent with rage at how crap and pointless the programme is. It's (almost) enough to make you listen to Radio 2.

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