Not satisfied with dominating your desktop
and polluting the games industry
has decided to poke his nose into your car. Windows CE for automotive
's attempt to standardise computerised in-car features, such as GPS
(global positioning system
), climate control
and, naturally, communications
). Windows CE
will be used to provide a GUI
to all these high level
computerised systems within the car.
The technology has been successfully spooged into the beautiful new BMW 7 series where it sits atop the Siemens VDO Automotive AG navigation gizmo, as well as the communications, entertainment and climate control systems.
The system has been a success so far and Microsoft, reportedly, have 21 other major manufacturers eager to adopt the technology.
Which brings to mind the following scenario:
Hans and Helga are late for their meeting at the Bayer corporation in Brunsbüttel. They are cruising down the Autobahn at 135mph in the brand new company BMW 7 series, desperate not to arrive late and displease Herr OberDirektor. Everything is going well, they are making up the lost time on the open road.
Suddenly, a sexy female american accent filters through the luxury speakers: "You have 1 new message in your mobile inbox."
Understand now that Hans, the driver, is a pretty modern kinda guy. Likes to keep up to date with the latest information off the web such as Nimda virus alerts from McAfee and the hilarious "All your base...". He didn't select this souped up BMW (133)7 series as his company car for no reason.
Anyway, Hans has new mail. Says to Helga: "Hey Helga, check out my new car ja? I can check my fahcking email on ze move. Zat is so cool no?"
"Ja Hans, for sure that's cool, but shouldn't you be keeping your eyes on ze autobahn?"
"Relax baby, zis car is powered by Windows. What could possibly go wrong?"
"But Hans, you're now driving at 145mph in ze wet, I don't think zis checking of the email is important as us getting to Brunsbüttel in one piece."
"Don't vorry your pretty little head about zis. Now, be quiet while Hans checks ze mail."
Welcome to Outlook for CE Automotive
I am the office assistant
and my job is to help you with
Would you like to:
Find out about office assistant (that's me)
Locate key upgrade information
Start a Power Point presentation
Add active channel
Start using Microsoft Money
None of the above
"Mein Gott Helga, zis is confusing me ja? Which option do I select? Ze paperclip is vinking at me in a jovial fashion, but it's getting me nowhere....."
"Hans, keep your eyes on ze bloody road, a large truck is coming."
"....ahh, now I see. I have find ze installation directory and load ze new service pack for Outlook. Now where did I leave it...."
"Hans, ze truck, ze truck. Mein Gott Hans, open ze fahcking eyes you idiot!!!"
"...ah yes, it's in c:\windowsCE\system32\climate_control. Now, run ze setup.exe......."
Hans. Ze Truck, slow down, you'll kill us both .....
"... Ja! At last. Now I can read my mail. Wow, send this email to 5 of my friends and get ze free Kraftwerk
HANS. ZE TRUCK, HANS!!!!, HAAAANS!, NEIN, NEIN!, NEEEIIIN.........
PS. The above is a JOKE, people. I have nothing against the people of Germany, Kraftwerk or BMW.