This was the last collaboration between MC Hawking (lyrics, both writer and singer) and Dark Matter (instruments), and has yet to be published on CD. However, it is available from MC Hawking's website, at: http://www.mchawking.com

Anyone terribly concerned about Jesse Helms's continuing presence in politics can be reassured that he retired in 2002, due to health issues.




(grainy Jesse Helms sample)
"Unless and until the American people demand the restoration of both moral and spiritual priorities, I simply do not believe that we're going to solve any other problems as well."


Jesse Helms was a self-described member of the Moral Majority, and touted himself as a moral representative.


Big fat fuck from North Carolina state,


Jesse Helms was a Senator for North Carolina from 1973 to 2002. And he was overweight.


he's a worthless piece of shit, he's a paragon of hate,


I'll let you decide how worthwhile he was, but he has gone on the record railing against both Martin Luther King, Jr. and "Negro hoodlums," during the civil rights movement.


he's a redneck, fuck-face, brain-dead waste of space,
two-bit, two-timing, motherfucking pool of slime.


Despite his own civil rights history, he was on the record many times requiring Bill Clinton to question China's civil rights issues, even sponsoring multiple bills to that effect.


Against gay rights,


Jesse Helms had, many times, opposed attempts to expand civil rights laws to include homosexuals.


and funding for the arts,
tried to cancel PBS and tear Big Bird apart.


Jesse Helms led an attempt to slash the funding to the National Endowment for the Arts, which would have basically gutted PBS. Birg Bird, of course, is one of the best-known characters of Sesame Street, one of PBS's best-known and best-loved shows.


cut AIDS funding,


He also attempted to cut the funds that the Centers for Disease Control spent on controlling and attempting to cure HIV/AIDS.


corporate welfare for the rich,


Jesse Helms had sponsored and supported many of the more excessively-friendly-to-corporations tax bills, and was a chief supporter of Regean's trickle-down theory of economics.


he's a shameless money grubber, he's a two dollar bitch.


Nothing specific impugns Jesse Helms as a "money grubber," but it's a common slur on American politicians.


Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?


Fundamentalist, fuckwad, dickless prick,


He was a fervent Christian, of the most narrow-minded sort.


he's ugly as a morlock, dumb as a brick.
He's a sack of shit, hypocrite, single-minded, fat bigot,


As for hypocrite, there's his duplicity with civil rights for blacks and gays, contrasted with his many protests of the treatment of Christians in China. And he could stand to lose some weight.


punk bitch, ignorant, ass-munch sycophant.
Life long friend of the deadly cancer sticks,

Jesse Helms has always supported laws protecting the tobacco industry, including a final one near the end of his political career that would have limited the size of court settlements.


thinks AIDS is the fault of the people it inflicts.


He's never made comments to this effect, and even supported a bill to increase contributions to African countries dealing with the AIDS epidemic. He did hate homosexuals, though.


Racist fuck who supports segregation,


He supported segregation all through the 1960's and beyond.

foe of the people friend of the corporation.


As with many Republicans, he can easily be accused of favoring corporations over constituents.


Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?


Uh.
Damn.
Get up, get up!


Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?


Hurry up and die
Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?
Why won't Jesse Helms just hurry up and die?

Yo Jesse, you dumb-ass, racist, cracker motherfucker!
Why the fuck won't you just hurry up and die?
And take that punk-bitch Strom Thurmond with you!


While Strom Thurmond is still alive and in office, his birthday did take down Trent Lott, so all is not lost. Update: Strom Thurmond is now deceased.




Editor's note: The question became moot on July 4, 2008. Jesse Helms is now in no hurry of any kind.

Thanks to tandex and his wonderful w/u in Jesse Helms, which inspired this w/u.

I e-mailed the contact e-mail at http://www.mchawking.com and got permission to reproduce these lyrics.

CST Approved

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