When I was in Colorado, after a 24 hour bus trip from California, snowboarding with the SOS club, we had a party the first day we got there. Actually, we had a party every day. But on this particular day, it was a 'red-green party'. The way this went was that if you were single you wore green, and if you were unavailable, you wore red. Well, one of my friends actually ended up being dumped at this party. So what was he supposed to do? He couldn't change into green, so he had to wear red the whole time, and stand there being tormented by the whole thing. He handled it just about how most people i know would - he got extremely drunk and stumbled home. (i didn't see this because i had been kicked out by a malevolent security guard about an hour before). Then he had to survive a 20+ hour bus ride with this dumb chick too. It was well known that this chick is psycho, but i think it's pretty pathetic that she didn't at least wait until after the party, if not after the trip, to drop a bomb like that.

Exams are the world's worst time to start or end a relationship. Thank God that I only had a take-home essay and an open book exam left the next day after my ex-g/f and I broke up.

I had planned to spend the night before writing the essay (due at 1205) and then study for the exam (1305-1505) the following morning. Instead, I spent most of the evening cursing the lack of suitable alcohol in my apartment, then, in a particularly ironic twist, deciding to play Barenaked Ladies' Alcohol as a substitute. Strangely enough, I felt better after playing it. LOUD.

When your relationship is a secret.

When your relationship is a secret from your wife.

When your relationship is a secret from your girlfriend’s parents.

When your relationship is a secret from your other girlfriends.

When your relationship is a secret from the voting public upon whom you depend for your job as a United States Congressman.

When your relationship is a secret from your girlfriend’s employers over whom you have oversight authority.

When your relationship is a secret from your girlfriend’s friends who would be her bridesmaids when you get married, of course, after ditching your current wife of 34 years.

When your relationship is a secret from your party which was just rocked by another intern scandal and desperately needs to hold on to your seat in the coming election.

When your relationship is a secret from the news media who desperately want another sex scandal in Washington.

When your relationship is a secret from the police who are interviewing you about your girlfriend’s recent disappearance.

When you never should have touched her in the first place, you idiot.

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